LAST DAY
To lunch: Strauss had to decide whether to declare or allow Cook a crack at Lara's world record of 400. In the end - conservatively - he ordered him to go for a double hundred and Cook never looked likely to get out anywhere short of that figure. No declaration at lunch; apparently a figure of seven runs an over was reckoned to be beyond Australia and 439-1 was not big enough.
To tea: Records fell the way England wickets used to fall - regularly. Too many to list but it was the first time an England Test side had passed 500 with only one wicket down. Stauss declared close to tea at 517-1which seems to be another example of his extreme conservative nature but, remember, no wicket had fallen for six hours, the pitch was as true as those old time featherbeds and the England second wicket pair are unbeaten after 327 precious runs.
To close: Just time for Katich to get out and a relieved Ponting get to a 43-ball fifty before a draw was recorded. Uniquely both sides had got out of jail without major concerns before the flat bed of a track at Adelaide and, surely, another draw.
"I knew we'd beat 'em," says a text from Wagga Wagga where, one suspects, the world wide web has gone crook. Are they driving to Adelaide? Walking? Biking? Hitch hking?I ask Kate by text but there is no answer. Another mystery hung over from this placid first Test.
Jo king, Queen stat, says: Don't be surprised if England win in Adelaide. They have forced eight victories altogether, three since the Second World War. Don't you remember? All rounder Phil De Freitas was man of the match in 1994-5with a second innings 88. "For me batting, for me batting!" he kept saying.
Monday 29 November 2010
Sunday 28 November 2010
Forget victory
FOURTH DAY
To lunch: The start of the triumph. Strauss 79 and Cook 51 add 116 to the overnight 19-0 while the added time means Australia bowl 31 overs. Not a sign of venom in this slowish pitch and instead of the steaming attack of the first innings Ponting has to rely on North.
To tea: Strauss reaches his 19th Test century and then gets stumped leaping down the pitch at 188 but who cares. Trott cares. He wastes no time retaking his guard, he has a purposeful look and he keeps the scoreboard buzzing. He and Cook smooth their way to 238-1 although Cook, who has had remarkably little strike, is stuck on 98.
To close: By the end in bad light Cook and Trott have created a power base that will make Australia worried about a defeat. The England lead is 88 and still there is no sign of a tricky pitch. So my advice to Strauss and a concerned looking Flower - after what The Sun Called a "cancer op ordeal" (lasting 24hours in hospital) - is to forget victory and concentrate on the draw. That will send two messages. "We are powerful enough to get over a bad first innings" and "we can wait until you collapse so badly we can't help winning". By the way I am not kidding myself the players will take any notice. They will want to push the Aussies over the cliff. Wrong. It is time for patience.
Jo King's Royal stat . Don't worry. England always win if Strauss makes a duck and a century - in Jo-burg in 2004-5 and in Napier in 2007-8. And do not forget the match number. This is the 1981st Test and we all know what happened in 1981. Not just the Royal wedding but Brearley's comeback and an Ashes triumph.
To lunch: The start of the triumph. Strauss 79 and Cook 51 add 116 to the overnight 19-0 while the added time means Australia bowl 31 overs. Not a sign of venom in this slowish pitch and instead of the steaming attack of the first innings Ponting has to rely on North.
To tea: Strauss reaches his 19th Test century and then gets stumped leaping down the pitch at 188 but who cares. Trott cares. He wastes no time retaking his guard, he has a purposeful look and he keeps the scoreboard buzzing. He and Cook smooth their way to 238-1 although Cook, who has had remarkably little strike, is stuck on 98.
To close: By the end in bad light Cook and Trott have created a power base that will make Australia worried about a defeat. The England lead is 88 and still there is no sign of a tricky pitch. So my advice to Strauss and a concerned looking Flower - after what The Sun Called a "cancer op ordeal" (lasting 24hours in hospital) - is to forget victory and concentrate on the draw. That will send two messages. "We are powerful enough to get over a bad first innings" and "we can wait until you collapse so badly we can't help winning". By the way I am not kidding myself the players will take any notice. They will want to push the Aussies over the cliff. Wrong. It is time for patience.
Jo King's Royal stat . Don't worry. England always win if Strauss makes a duck and a century - in Jo-burg in 2004-5 and in Napier in 2007-8. And do not forget the match number. This is the 1981st Test and we all know what happened in 1981. Not just the Royal wedding but Brearley's comeback and an Ashes triumph.
Saturday 27 November 2010
Finn takes it easy
THIRD DAY
To lunch: I felt that, despite the huge Aussie score and the massive stand for the sixth wicket, there was big encouragement for England. The first session showed their bowlers at their best even though by the interval Hussey had 124 and Haddin 79 at 329-5.
To tea: The pair were still together but none of the five England bowlers was conceding four an over and although Anderson, their best fielder, dropped Haddin on 113 436-5 did not seem insurmountable. Broad, who needed treatment for blisters on his feet, did not take a wicket but Hussey apparently said he was the most difficult. Score 436-5.
To close To his credit Strauss had kept Finn fresh and, with that easy action that makes bowling look pleasurable, the new boy finished with six wickets as Australia lost five for 45. Hussey was caught pulling - his most productive stroke - for 195 and Haddin was smartly taken low at slip by Collingwood, showing wonderful concentration. Strauss and Cook batted easily to the end; of course the big trial comes on day four.
Jo King, stats Queen says: England controlled the game so effectively that the Hussey-Haddin stand of 307 spanned 93 overs, more than a day's play. Put it another way. Australia scored at 3.88 at Brisbane in 2006, 3.72 at Cardiff in 2009 and 3.07 at Brisbane in 2010.
To lunch: I felt that, despite the huge Aussie score and the massive stand for the sixth wicket, there was big encouragement for England. The first session showed their bowlers at their best even though by the interval Hussey had 124 and Haddin 79 at 329-5.
To tea: The pair were still together but none of the five England bowlers was conceding four an over and although Anderson, their best fielder, dropped Haddin on 113 436-5 did not seem insurmountable. Broad, who needed treatment for blisters on his feet, did not take a wicket but Hussey apparently said he was the most difficult. Score 436-5.
To close To his credit Strauss had kept Finn fresh and, with that easy action that makes bowling look pleasurable, the new boy finished with six wickets as Australia lost five for 45. Hussey was caught pulling - his most productive stroke - for 195 and Haddin was smartly taken low at slip by Collingwood, showing wonderful concentration. Strauss and Cook batted easily to the end; of course the big trial comes on day four.
Jo King, stats Queen says: England controlled the game so effectively that the Hussey-Haddin stand of 307 spanned 93 overs, more than a day's play. Put it another way. Australia scored at 3.88 at Brisbane in 2006, 3.72 at Cardiff in 2009 and 3.07 at Brisbane in 2010.
Friday 26 November 2010
Mr. Cricket hits mid-wicket
SECOND DAY
To lunch: Anderson bowled maiden after maiden but just one wicket fell, magic balls were few and far between and Australia were 96 for the loss of Watson.
To tea: What a different story in the afternoon. (Text from outer Brisbane said "Listen to us sing!") Ponting was out in the first over, Katich went three runs later and Clarke looked, frankly, like a batsman suffering back problems. He needed 50 balls to score nine before he gave Prior his 100th Test dismissal. (Good isn't it that we don't even think of him as a poor keeper any more.) North lasted only eight balls before he became Swann's first victim and at 143-5 it seemed England had a stranglehold.
To close: Hussey - finished according to the Aussie papers a few days ago - and Haddin batted from the tea score of 168-5 to the close at 220. Now it looks as if Australia will establish a healthy lead on first innings. Blame the bowlers. They fed Hussey a regular supply of long hops which he hit to mid wicket for four. Simple for Mr. Cricket.
A text without words arrives "from my Blackberry." A month ago my little Lotto lot could not afford the bus fare to pick blackberries. Now they are living like Royalty but a tipsy Royalty I suspect.
Jo King, stat Queen, says: Hussey, unbeaten on 81, desperately needs a century. His average has slipped from almost 80 after the 2006-7 series, to 52.65 in 2009 and 49.75 at the start of this series. He may be top scorer so far in this game but he is clearly at a career crossroads.
To lunch: Anderson bowled maiden after maiden but just one wicket fell, magic balls were few and far between and Australia were 96 for the loss of Watson.
To tea: What a different story in the afternoon. (Text from outer Brisbane said "Listen to us sing!") Ponting was out in the first over, Katich went three runs later and Clarke looked, frankly, like a batsman suffering back problems. He needed 50 balls to score nine before he gave Prior his 100th Test dismissal. (Good isn't it that we don't even think of him as a poor keeper any more.) North lasted only eight balls before he became Swann's first victim and at 143-5 it seemed England had a stranglehold.
To close: Hussey - finished according to the Aussie papers a few days ago - and Haddin batted from the tea score of 168-5 to the close at 220. Now it looks as if Australia will establish a healthy lead on first innings. Blame the bowlers. They fed Hussey a regular supply of long hops which he hit to mid wicket for four. Simple for Mr. Cricket.
A text without words arrives "from my Blackberry." A month ago my little Lotto lot could not afford the bus fare to pick blackberries. Now they are living like Royalty but a tipsy Royalty I suspect.
Jo King, stat Queen, says: Hussey, unbeaten on 81, desperately needs a century. His average has slipped from almost 80 after the 2006-7 series, to 52.65 in 2009 and 49.75 at the start of this series. He may be top scorer so far in this game but he is clearly at a career crossroads.
Wednesday 24 November 2010
Man of the match already
Test match No. 1981. Is that significant?
To lunch. We didn't think it was our lucky number - Botham and all that - after the third ball when Strauss cut a ball that dipped in straight to slip. What a miserable moment after winning the toss and declaring he could not wait to start. At 41 Jonathon Trott was bowled following an hour of painful batting. Lunch 86-2 and KP looking good while Cook stumbled but survived.
To tea. Even though four were out for 172, England seemed set fair for a decent if not spectacular score. Wrong again. Pietersen was caught at slip but Collingwood lasted only ten minutes. Bell survived a dropped catch by the keeper and was solid in footwork and technique while Cook was improving. Then at 197 the sky fell in.
The close. Cook edged Siddle to Watson's midriff for 67, Prior played anywhere but straight next ball and, despite an appeal, Broad was lbw - all to Siddle. A hat trick! Wow. Now which side was on top as England surveyed the wreckage of 197-7.
Siddle, on his 26th birthday and a year after his last Test, had bowled dynamically at no more than 82 miles an hour. Man of the match already. I wished Alec Bedser, who disapproved of all fast bowling, had been alive to see a classic display of fast medium in the way of Sydney Barnes, Maurice Tate and a dozen other Englishmen. It was not Australian bowling which is usually seven or eight miles an hour quicker; the nearest modern example is Shaun Pollock, an underestimated great South African.
Bell, Swann and Anderson scrambled a few more; England 260. Katich, hopping around like Kim Barnett on speed AND a hot tin roof, and Watson scored 25. Australia's day by a kangeroo kilometer. Day one of 30 had been an England disaster.
From my sofa I got a couple of glimpses of the Lotto lot. I guess they had had something to drink; they looked so happy. As for their promised texts of wisdom about the reasons for this mayhem - not a word. I hope they enjoyed Siddle and Australia as they made a major contribution to one of the great days of Ashes cricket.
Jo King, Queen Stat, says: Peter Siddle's magnificent hat trick was the 11th by an Australian bowler; the first was by Fred Spofforth, aged 25, 6ft 3in and, judging from his pictures thin as a super model. "A swarthy, black-haired lady killer with long sideburns, a droopy moustache and surplus vitality" so the old books say. His hat trick came in the Melbourne Test of 1878-9 and from that moment legends grew round the quick bowler. Those same books say he rode to and from a match in Victoria to Sydney by horse - a round trip of 400 miles. Eventually he settled in Surrey, played until he was more than 50 and died, aged 73, leaving the equivalent today of £3m.
Hours later an unprintable text arrives. I think it fair to translate it as a day of disappointment. For those near and far.
To lunch. We didn't think it was our lucky number - Botham and all that - after the third ball when Strauss cut a ball that dipped in straight to slip. What a miserable moment after winning the toss and declaring he could not wait to start. At 41 Jonathon Trott was bowled following an hour of painful batting. Lunch 86-2 and KP looking good while Cook stumbled but survived.
To tea. Even though four were out for 172, England seemed set fair for a decent if not spectacular score. Wrong again. Pietersen was caught at slip but Collingwood lasted only ten minutes. Bell survived a dropped catch by the keeper and was solid in footwork and technique while Cook was improving. Then at 197 the sky fell in.
The close. Cook edged Siddle to Watson's midriff for 67, Prior played anywhere but straight next ball and, despite an appeal, Broad was lbw - all to Siddle. A hat trick! Wow. Now which side was on top as England surveyed the wreckage of 197-7.
Siddle, on his 26th birthday and a year after his last Test, had bowled dynamically at no more than 82 miles an hour. Man of the match already. I wished Alec Bedser, who disapproved of all fast bowling, had been alive to see a classic display of fast medium in the way of Sydney Barnes, Maurice Tate and a dozen other Englishmen. It was not Australian bowling which is usually seven or eight miles an hour quicker; the nearest modern example is Shaun Pollock, an underestimated great South African.
Bell, Swann and Anderson scrambled a few more; England 260. Katich, hopping around like Kim Barnett on speed AND a hot tin roof, and Watson scored 25. Australia's day by a kangeroo kilometer. Day one of 30 had been an England disaster.
From my sofa I got a couple of glimpses of the Lotto lot. I guess they had had something to drink; they looked so happy. As for their promised texts of wisdom about the reasons for this mayhem - not a word. I hope they enjoyed Siddle and Australia as they made a major contribution to one of the great days of Ashes cricket.
Jo King, Queen Stat, says: Peter Siddle's magnificent hat trick was the 11th by an Australian bowler; the first was by Fred Spofforth, aged 25, 6ft 3in and, judging from his pictures thin as a super model. "A swarthy, black-haired lady killer with long sideburns, a droopy moustache and surplus vitality" so the old books say. His hat trick came in the Melbourne Test of 1878-9 and from that moment legends grew round the quick bowler. Those same books say he rode to and from a match in Victoria to Sydney by horse - a round trip of 400 miles. Eventually he settled in Surrey, played until he was more than 50 and died, aged 73, leaving the equivalent today of £3m.
Hours later an unprintable text arrives. I think it fair to translate it as a day of disappointment. For those near and far.
Verdict time
Ted Corbett, veteran of a million Test days, says: It's the eve of the - if you listen to all the TV and radio bull - most important Test in history and I am dead worried that the fighting Aussies might squeeze out a series victory 1-0. Oz ought to lose because they are a poor side, with a mix of old and raw and suffering all the misery like bad selections, Michael Clarke's bad back and, unjustified ambition from their fans, that goes with losing. Logically England 3-1.
Jo King, Statistician Royal, says: Do not, Andrew Strauss, on pain of an hour under the water board, put the Aussies in. Understood? Len Hutton did, lost by an innings, won the series and got a knighthood. Nasser Hussain still cannot believe, eight years on, that he said: "We'll field." Peter May won the toss at Brisbane in 1959 but Nasser is the only one since and where is his tap on the shoulder. If the captain does as he is told England 2-1
The rich guys in the Gabba: Sorry to be so down but we will follow KP all the way back to the pavilion - and still cheer an England victory here. As for the series, well, not so sure. A draw maybe 2-2
Greg Orry, Aussie barracker, says: I can't back the Aussies but I trust England can win with a bit of style 3-0.
Jo King, Statistician Royal, says: Do not, Andrew Strauss, on pain of an hour under the water board, put the Aussies in. Understood? Len Hutton did, lost by an innings, won the series and got a knighthood. Nasser Hussain still cannot believe, eight years on, that he said: "We'll field." Peter May won the toss at Brisbane in 1959 but Nasser is the only one since and where is his tap on the shoulder. If the captain does as he is told England 2-1
The rich guys in the Gabba: Sorry to be so down but we will follow KP all the way back to the pavilion - and still cheer an England victory here. As for the series, well, not so sure. A draw maybe 2-2
Greg Orry, Aussie barracker, says: I can't back the Aussies but I trust England can win with a bit of style 3-0.
Tuesday 23 November 2010
A shocker awaits
Just a few hours to go but my rich friends have been busy. "We've kept you a seat," says one text. So have I. My sofa opposite the world's biggest TV set and next to the DAB radio on which to hear the intelligent commentary of the radio chaps Agnew, Marks and the rest describing what I am about to see one second later. You know about all that satellite delay, don't you. I shall have coffee when needed, a hard frost outside and the company of my favourite stats lady who promises to provide us with one delicious fact a day for the duration of the Ashes. You can read my commentary soon after close of play - if I stay awake. And don't worry. The new rich will read this paragraph and pass the ticket on. The seat will not be wasted, either in the middle of the Fens or in the middle of the Gabba. In 24 hours, by the way, you can read my assessment of the five Tests and unless I have a major change of mind you may received a shock.
Thursday 18 November 2010
How many?
SEVENTEEN in the Australian Test squad! SEVENTEEN! And one of the ex-Test men said at 4.30am GMT that any of the Australia A team might ALSO by included. Perhaps a squad of TWENTY in total. Maybe more? Any youngish Aussie with his own whites? Ricky Ponting could spend more time telling players they are not wanted than setting the field. Watch it, Straussy, you may have the better side but you are going to be seriously outnumbered.
Tuesday 16 November 2010
No kidding!
Greg, the young Aussie, leads the Ashes Five off to Hobart for the final match before the first Test, 30 degrees Celcius cooler north in Brisbane. Four of the England party don't make the trip so they can get used to the Brisbane heat. Kate texts: "God is it bloody cold. Even the one horse is shivering. Greg keeps going on at me to sleep with him and if it gets two degrees cooler I'll have to give in. Ooops, sorry, I have given in. Bloody hell that was quick! Where is young Bobby when a girl needs a knight in shining armour. Oh, well,at least no Aussie can get me pregnant." Bobby is the young cricketer who tags along when he can't get an overseas gig for the winter. Nice girl Kate and you are never sure when she is kidding.
Thursday 11 November 2010
Jimmy riddle
We are worried about Jimmy Anderson. Now that Paul Collingwood - good old reliable Colly, stout heart, hero of the last Ashes Test at Adelaide and all round good fella - has made a few runs it is clear that the team that is playing against South Australia must play in the first Test, 15 days hence. Except for Jimmy, victim of a nasty blow to the ribs, behind with his training, his match fitness and all his other preparations, and, who knows, not ready for five days in the Brisbane sun. So let us be prepared for him to sit it out and - perhaps - Tim Bresnan to fill in, just for one Test. If Steven Finn is a success - and I expect him to be - Anderson may have to sit out at least one other Test so that Monty Panesar, the weapon Shane Warne thinks ought to be sitting at home in Northamptonshire, staring at his navel, can strike fear into the Aussies.
Sunday 7 November 2010
Strauss the hero
England win their first match against Western Australia mainly due to a century from Andrew Strauss. His batting will be a key to the series as Alistair Cook has had two poor innings and the predictions that Kevin Pietersen will come good one day soon are proving to be half true at best. I am expecting a lot from Jonathon Trott too.
Meanwhile, four hours flying time away in Brisbane, life is proceeding in the way you might expect. Other tourists are finding that the Aussie dollar rate for the pound sterling is making food and, not least of all, drink expensive. Not for our merry Lotto lunatics. They have gone over to single word texts. So far I have had two "WILD!", one "You Must Join Us Pronto" and today "Ouch, me ead urts." Regular updates on this blog or, if their previous form is anything to go by, reports from the nearest magistrates court.
Meanwhile, four hours flying time away in Brisbane, life is proceeding in the way you might expect. Other tourists are finding that the Aussie dollar rate for the pound sterling is making food and, not least of all, drink expensive. Not for our merry Lotto lunatics. They have gone over to single word texts. So far I have had two "WILD!", one "You Must Join Us Pronto" and today "Ouch, me ead urts." Regular updates on this blog or, if their previous form is anything to go by, reports from the nearest magistrates court.
Tuesday 2 November 2010
Decision time
That settles it. The gang are willing to pay for me and the missus to travel out to Oz and find us a nice hotel but I reckon it will be better for me to stay here, sit up all night and watch on my lovely large TV with coffee and the wind howling in the trees. I will get the gang to text their impressions and the bizarre details and I will write, say, 400 words three times a day from each Test. All I have to do is find them an exciting bet - they don't need the money do they - and I am working on that, I don't regret my decision to stay at home. Australia has changed since 1982 when I first dropped into Sydney airport, had a fine old row with two Customs ladies (I'm being generous here you understand) and arrived in Brisbane several hours late. Much more authoritarian, much less fun, more controlled, less "She'll be apples" which was their way of saying "don't worry" and too obviously peopled not just by the descendants of convicts but by the great, great grandchildren of policemen and prison warders. Pity. I used to love every trip but in the end Melbourne reminds you of Manchester, Adelaide is cute like Aberdeen but hotter and even vibrant, exciting old Sydney goes a murky grey.
Monday 1 November 2010
The Lotto party
My friends could not possibly keep their secret to themselves for long. After several emails, texts, SMSs and the like - going "Ha bloody Ha" and "U just don't no do u" - they finally front up. "As it is your birthday," says their first honest message - " we'd better tell you what is going on." They claim to be in the "only eight star hotel in the southern hemisphere" and living on champagne and dangerous chemicals. How come this change in lifestyle for a bunch who would certainly have struggled to keep their rust bucket car in petrol if they had stuck to the original plan and driven Nottingham to Sydney. "Kate's cousin who is not on her Christmas card list after he fails her dramatically one long evening of drink and all the rest is one of an extended family who win that big prize on the Euro Lotto and her lets her have a tiny bit as part of his divi up and she asks for more and says 'you are on a permanent promise' and he sends along a few bobs. So the four of us - Kate, the lad, the vet and the other waitress known as Busty - fly here first class, book into this nice, highly-recommended hotel and party." And finally "Send us your tip for a good bet and we will put a few bobs on for you as well as us." I am thinking about it.
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