Thursday 30 December 2010
Look back
The veteran texts 400 words. He is becoming adept with his new tech. "It was Bresnan what won it," he says, imitating The Sun all those Thatcher years ago. "He knows how to bowl, does the lad. Reminds me a bit of myself, all that long time ago." Let us see if Bresnan survives even as long as the next Test when there is a rumour that Panesar will take his place. I do hope not. Snotty Mike Atherton describes him as an honest toiler. Reminds me of a conversation with Clive Lloyd all those years ago. "It seems to me that as soon as they leave the field of play and become TV commentors they forget everything they learnt as cricketers," he said. I wonder, It's nore likely they think they have to talk populist rubbish to keep the - very well-paid - job on the gantry. "Move mid-off to extra cover," is nothing like as attractive a bit of commentary as "Why don't they put in a short leg and bounce him." The Lotto lads and lasses are already in Sydney preparing to celebrate the winning of the series, firewords over the Harbour and liberal supplies of Aussie wine. I do hope they are not disappointed. Tears ago I learnt not to trust the final game of an already decided one-day series. Just take note of my alledged wisdom. Remember Australia won the fifth Test when the Gatting team kept the Ashes all those years ago.
Wednesday 29 December 2010
Finished
FOURTH DAY
So, as we knew they must from the first morning, England won - by an innings and 157 runs and keep the Ashes which they have now held, despite 5-0 in Australia in 2006-7 - since September 2005. Tremlett, Swann and the hero of the hour Bresnan captured the remaining wickets before lunch. It must have been a sweet triumph for Bresnan, the subject of a damn-with-faint-praise campaign possibly because he is a touch on the weighty side, more than a touch of Yorkshire (Yorky is his dressing room nom-de-guerre) and particularly because he is not from Surrey, or Hampshire, or some other fashionable Home Counties side.
Wherever England go next - and they can rid themselves of good teams quicker than any other international side - I hope Bresnan is a force for good. I once asked Alec
Bedser when he first knew Fred Trueman was going to be a great. "Straight away," he said. "He could bowl" - and finishing with a broad Yorkshire accent - "e could bowl tha knows." So can Bresnan - either tight and close to the stumps or more fluidly wide out and tempting - and he has a genuinely quick ball. Don't mention that in front of some cricket experts; they'll respond with a damning definition of "medium pace, tha knows."
Strauss deserves that I give him another chance. I hear he has impeccable man management skills. I am fond of Paul Collingwood but it looks as if his day is done and there are young cricketers waiting for a chance. Pray they are as English as Colly and that our Southern African days are finishing.
As you know I come from the Ponting Finishing School, a harsh establishment run by men who care only for Australia's honour. We will know a lot about that School of Hard Knocks within a few days.
So, as we knew they must from the first morning, England won - by an innings and 157 runs and keep the Ashes which they have now held, despite 5-0 in Australia in 2006-7 - since September 2005. Tremlett, Swann and the hero of the hour Bresnan captured the remaining wickets before lunch. It must have been a sweet triumph for Bresnan, the subject of a damn-with-faint-praise campaign possibly because he is a touch on the weighty side, more than a touch of Yorkshire (Yorky is his dressing room nom-de-guerre) and particularly because he is not from Surrey, or Hampshire, or some other fashionable Home Counties side.
Wherever England go next - and they can rid themselves of good teams quicker than any other international side - I hope Bresnan is a force for good. I once asked Alec
Bedser when he first knew Fred Trueman was going to be a great. "Straight away," he said. "He could bowl" - and finishing with a broad Yorkshire accent - "e could bowl tha knows." So can Bresnan - either tight and close to the stumps or more fluidly wide out and tempting - and he has a genuinely quick ball. Don't mention that in front of some cricket experts; they'll respond with a damning definition of "medium pace, tha knows."
Strauss deserves that I give him another chance. I hear he has impeccable man management skills. I am fond of Paul Collingwood but it looks as if his day is done and there are young cricketers waiting for a chance. Pray they are as English as Colly and that our Southern African days are finishing.
As you know I come from the Ponting Finishing School, a harsh establishment run by men who care only for Australia's honour. We will know a lot about that School of Hard Knocks within a few days.
Tuesday 28 December 2010
A great farewell
THIRD DAY
Sorry Ricky but it it time to step down.
To lunch (at England all out score of 513) Trott continues, relentless, chanceless, without fault, to 168 off 345 balls but the rest provide only token aid, including Prior, now an immaculate wicket-keeper but a frail batsman for all his 82.
To tea (95-1) Only the run-out of Hughes, tomorrow's man maybe but certaihly not today's, spoils Australia's second innings march to safety, less than half way through the match. The veteran texts: "He's forgotten he has moveable feet."
To close (169-6 ) Why can no commentator see the merit of Bresnan? Even Chappelli says he cannot remember a bad ball as he whips out Watson, Ponting and Hussey, three stars; well, apart from Ponting that is. Bresnan is quicker sharper than he looks, keeps an immaculate length and line and, without fuss or bother, appears to know where to bowl. Only the similar, bustling Siddle with 6-75 and two catches has a bigger effect on the match. As for the commentators! Talk about Bresnan and they must mention Anderson or Swann or Tremlett. Ponting struggles for 100 minutes and 73 balls for 20 looking as if he faces the rack if he fails; and inevitably falls, bowled by a Bresnan creeper. Instead he faces the captain's farewell, a final media gathering to shed a few tears a la Vaughan, and a rich man's retirement to the TV gantry. Sad because he was a truly great batsman and we saw glimpses of that today.
Sorry Ricky but it it time to step down.
To lunch (at England all out score of 513) Trott continues, relentless, chanceless, without fault, to 168 off 345 balls but the rest provide only token aid, including Prior, now an immaculate wicket-keeper but a frail batsman for all his 82.
To tea (95-1) Only the run-out of Hughes, tomorrow's man maybe but certaihly not today's, spoils Australia's second innings march to safety, less than half way through the match. The veteran texts: "He's forgotten he has moveable feet."
To close (169-6 ) Why can no commentator see the merit of Bresnan? Even Chappelli says he cannot remember a bad ball as he whips out Watson, Ponting and Hussey, three stars; well, apart from Ponting that is. Bresnan is quicker sharper than he looks, keeps an immaculate length and line and, without fuss or bother, appears to know where to bowl. Only the similar, bustling Siddle with 6-75 and two catches has a bigger effect on the match. As for the commentators! Talk about Bresnan and they must mention Anderson or Swann or Tremlett. Ponting struggles for 100 minutes and 73 balls for 20 looking as if he faces the rack if he fails; and inevitably falls, bowled by a Bresnan creeper. Instead he faces the captain's farewell, a final media gathering to shed a few tears a la Vaughan, and a rich man's retirement to the TV gantry. Sad because he was a truly great batsman and we saw glimpses of that today.
Monday 27 December 2010
Hopeless
SECOND DAY
To lunch(226-2) Siddle, quiet since the first Test, bowls with purpose and aggression so that Cook is caught at first slip 18 short of a century that looked automatic and Strauss taken in the gully when a bouncer rises acutely. Trott begins the innings the selectors sent him to get in Oz, holding the side together even when Pietersen, Collingwood and Bell go for 24 runs.
To tea (304-5) Now is the period of mayhem. Ponting, understandly stressed, argues with Aleem Dar, as good an umpire as it is possible to be, and then Tony Hill, when a decision on Pietersen goes against Australia and Prior is recalled by Aleem Dar who checks a no-ball. Later Ponting is fined 40% of his match fee.
To close (444-5) Trott completes his century in just short of five hours and, I imagine, Geoff Miller and his pals decide it is right to treat themselves to another glass of celebration champagne. Prior rides his luck for two and a half hours to fifty, but once again he has shown that with his Bruce French improved wicket-keeping and his robust batting he is the ideal No.7. The lead is 346; for Australians to talk about making England bat again is proof that noxious weeds are still in abundent supply Down Under.
Those of you who have asked about the Lotto Five will be glad to know they say they are thriving. However Kate texts that "we can always get home even if the money runs out - I think we still all have our return tickets." I do hope so.
To lunch(226-2) Siddle, quiet since the first Test, bowls with purpose and aggression so that Cook is caught at first slip 18 short of a century that looked automatic and Strauss taken in the gully when a bouncer rises acutely. Trott begins the innings the selectors sent him to get in Oz, holding the side together even when Pietersen, Collingwood and Bell go for 24 runs.
To tea (304-5) Now is the period of mayhem. Ponting, understandly stressed, argues with Aleem Dar, as good an umpire as it is possible to be, and then Tony Hill, when a decision on Pietersen goes against Australia and Prior is recalled by Aleem Dar who checks a no-ball. Later Ponting is fined 40% of his match fee.
To close (444-5) Trott completes his century in just short of five hours and, I imagine, Geoff Miller and his pals decide it is right to treat themselves to another glass of celebration champagne. Prior rides his luck for two and a half hours to fifty, but once again he has shown that with his Bruce French improved wicket-keeping and his robust batting he is the ideal No.7. The lead is 346; for Australians to talk about making England bat again is proof that noxious weeds are still in abundent supply Down Under.
Those of you who have asked about the Lotto Five will be glad to know they say they are thriving. However Kate texts that "we can always get home even if the money runs out - I think we still all have our return tickets." I do hope so.
Sunday 26 December 2010
Bliss
FOURTH TEST
At the toss Ponting was so self-assired, so jokey, that he seemed not to have a care in the world and I wondered if he had told the selectors he would retire at the end of the series. We'll see.
To lunch (Australia 58-4): After three overs, two dropped catches and a missed run-out opportunity it looked as if England were going to mess up but Watson skied a rising ball to slip, Ponting batted 51 minutes for ten and Hughes was as out of his depth as ever. The key wicket was Hussey caught behind for eight, He has been their run provider throughout the series and long before tea England has the game in a vice-like grip.
To tea (Australia 98): The infinite weakness of the Australian middle and lower middle order was exposed on a pitch with tiny amounts of devil; if Smith is a Test No.6 so am I, Haddin attacked, Johnson survived four balls and the Prior-Anderson combo was too much for Clarke, inappropriately out of form at the same time as Ponting.
To close (England 157-0): In 47 overs, Cook and Strauss barely played a false shot, Cook survived one lbw verdict and the runs came so easily that as he headed off back to his hotel room Strauss must have thought he had had the perfect day. He had won the toss, put the other side in, dismissed them for their lowest score at the MCG and - don't count your horses the way I did at Perth - kept the Ashes. Bliss.
At the end Anderson, the often sour interviewee, was so relaxed I full expected him to tell us a joke or sing a song. He managed to interject "there's a lot of hard work to be done" but hey surely we cannot avoid this victory.
At the toss Ponting was so self-assired, so jokey, that he seemed not to have a care in the world and I wondered if he had told the selectors he would retire at the end of the series. We'll see.
To lunch (Australia 58-4): After three overs, two dropped catches and a missed run-out opportunity it looked as if England were going to mess up but Watson skied a rising ball to slip, Ponting batted 51 minutes for ten and Hughes was as out of his depth as ever. The key wicket was Hussey caught behind for eight, He has been their run provider throughout the series and long before tea England has the game in a vice-like grip.
To tea (Australia 98): The infinite weakness of the Australian middle and lower middle order was exposed on a pitch with tiny amounts of devil; if Smith is a Test No.6 so am I, Haddin attacked, Johnson survived four balls and the Prior-Anderson combo was too much for Clarke, inappropriately out of form at the same time as Ponting.
To close (England 157-0): In 47 overs, Cook and Strauss barely played a false shot, Cook survived one lbw verdict and the runs came so easily that as he headed off back to his hotel room Strauss must have thought he had had the perfect day. He had won the toss, put the other side in, dismissed them for their lowest score at the MCG and - don't count your horses the way I did at Perth - kept the Ashes. Bliss.
At the end Anderson, the often sour interviewee, was so relaxed I full expected him to tell us a joke or sing a song. He managed to interject "there's a lot of hard work to be done" but hey surely we cannot avoid this victory.
Saturday 18 December 2010
Do the maths
FOURTH DAY
To lunch: If the 50 minutes Australia needed to bowl England to defeat were wretched, the next 50 minutes were equally miserable. England were all out 123 to an assortment of loose shots and then commentators and cricketers alike seemed to be far too keen to submit to Australia. For instance, I listened to the whole of the summary section of Test Match Special and not once was the size of the victory in Adelaide mentioned. Jim Maxwell, as Aussie as any wallaby, was allowed to dictate the terms of the discussion; how many changes do England need to make, is there any way Australia can be stopped now, isn't it great that Johnson is back in top form, Ponting will not allow his broken little finger to keep him out of the Melbourne Boxing Day Test. Ponting was exceptionally relaxed, jokey even; Strauss was his usual conservative company man. I just wished someone - Broad tried but his voice does not carry the authority yet - had said: "Hang one. Didn't we win by a massive margin against the same team two weeks ago?"
Jo King, Stats Queen says: Brisbane 517-1 declared, Adelaide 620-5 declared or 1137-6 declared; contrast with Perth 187 and 123 or 320 for 20. Is that a one-off because of the pitch or what? The worry is not in the stats but in the sombre expressions on the faces of Flower and Strauss.
To lunch: If the 50 minutes Australia needed to bowl England to defeat were wretched, the next 50 minutes were equally miserable. England were all out 123 to an assortment of loose shots and then commentators and cricketers alike seemed to be far too keen to submit to Australia. For instance, I listened to the whole of the summary section of Test Match Special and not once was the size of the victory in Adelaide mentioned. Jim Maxwell, as Aussie as any wallaby, was allowed to dictate the terms of the discussion; how many changes do England need to make, is there any way Australia can be stopped now, isn't it great that Johnson is back in top form, Ponting will not allow his broken little finger to keep him out of the Melbourne Boxing Day Test. Ponting was exceptionally relaxed, jokey even; Strauss was his usual conservative company man. I just wished someone - Broad tried but his voice does not carry the authority yet - had said: "Hang one. Didn't we win by a massive margin against the same team two weeks ago?"
Jo King, Stats Queen says: Brisbane 517-1 declared, Adelaide 620-5 declared or 1137-6 declared; contrast with Perth 187 and 123 or 320 for 20. Is that a one-off because of the pitch or what? The worry is not in the stats but in the sombre expressions on the faces of Flower and Strauss.
Absent Swann
THIRD DAY
So what went wrong? Same old, same old, I'm afraid. Australia had straight bats and even straighter bowling and so far Johnson has eight in the match.
To lunch at 211-4: For 55 minutes the pacemen held Watson and Hussey but the runs began to flow even after Watson - reluctantly - went for 95. Smith, who is no more a Test No.6 than, all those years ago, Steve Waugh was a No.5 in his early Tests, was allowed to make 36. Why, oh why, didn't Swann bowl more?
To tea at 297-8. Hussey played superbly for his century but the rest hardly made a contribution. The writing is on the wall for all the brave talk of 400, the biggest score of the match, in the fourth innings.
To close at 81-5. My old saying - "if they win this one you will never forget it" applies. Johnson has regained all his old devastating form, England have lost all the power that gave them such a big victory in Adelaide. I am apt to blame Strauss for everything but he has to answer for Swann bowling only nine overs in the innings and for the failure to remove Smith at speed.
So what went wrong? Same old, same old, I'm afraid. Australia had straight bats and even straighter bowling and so far Johnson has eight in the match.
To lunch at 211-4: For 55 minutes the pacemen held Watson and Hussey but the runs began to flow even after Watson - reluctantly - went for 95. Smith, who is no more a Test No.6 than, all those years ago, Steve Waugh was a No.5 in his early Tests, was allowed to make 36. Why, oh why, didn't Swann bowl more?
To tea at 297-8. Hussey played superbly for his century but the rest hardly made a contribution. The writing is on the wall for all the brave talk of 400, the biggest score of the match, in the fourth innings.
To close at 81-5. My old saying - "if they win this one you will never forget it" applies. Johnson has regained all his old devastating form, England have lost all the power that gave them such a big victory in Adelaide. I am apt to blame Strauss for everything but he has to answer for Swann bowling only nine overs in the innings and for the failure to remove Smith at speed.
Friday 17 December 2010
Why it all went wrong
SECOND DAY.
The old vet loses control and actually phones, which must be a sign that the Lotto money has gone to his head. "Did you ever see such batting?" he asks. He is very angry. "Prior has not got a shot, keeps moving across his wicket and allowing himself to be hit. At least Swann knows how to play but by that time Johnson is so much in the groove Bradman could not stop him. It is the worst England batting I have seen for years."
To lunch. Everything goes swimmingly to 78 until Johnson suddenly produces a spell of four wickets - Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Collingwood - that makes my predictions of an easy England win are doomed. Lunch at 119-5.
To tea England all out 187, an Australian devil score, after Johnson also disturbs the tail with a soft, old ball and finishes with 6-38. All right, half his wickets are gifts but as he hardly got the ball past the bat in the first Test and is dropped for the second, it's a great performance.
To close Finn struck twice and now has the second best Test strike rate in history. Hughes is hardly more than a gimme but when Prior caught Ponting down the legside he waited for a referral before marching off in a fury. How much longer will the selectors tolerate his lack of runs? He could be finished if his men lose this match and the Ashes fly home to Lord's again. By the end of the second day Australia are sure to win. Just like England yesterday so don't cry just yet.
Jo King, Queen of the Important Stat, says: Finn has 45 wickets in his 11 Tests, at 25.73 with a strike rate of 39.32 compared with old-timer Lohman who had 112 wickets in 34 balls each. Not all his victims turned out to be Test stars. Five more wickets and Finn will have beaten Botham's record of 50 wickets at 22 years and 261 days. Finn will not be 22 until April 4.
The old vet loses control and actually phones, which must be a sign that the Lotto money has gone to his head. "Did you ever see such batting?" he asks. He is very angry. "Prior has not got a shot, keeps moving across his wicket and allowing himself to be hit. At least Swann knows how to play but by that time Johnson is so much in the groove Bradman could not stop him. It is the worst England batting I have seen for years."
To lunch. Everything goes swimmingly to 78 until Johnson suddenly produces a spell of four wickets - Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Collingwood - that makes my predictions of an easy England win are doomed. Lunch at 119-5.
To tea England all out 187, an Australian devil score, after Johnson also disturbs the tail with a soft, old ball and finishes with 6-38. All right, half his wickets are gifts but as he hardly got the ball past the bat in the first Test and is dropped for the second, it's a great performance.
To close Finn struck twice and now has the second best Test strike rate in history. Hughes is hardly more than a gimme but when Prior caught Ponting down the legside he waited for a referral before marching off in a fury. How much longer will the selectors tolerate his lack of runs? He could be finished if his men lose this match and the Ashes fly home to Lord's again. By the end of the second day Australia are sure to win. Just like England yesterday so don't cry just yet.
Jo King, Queen of the Important Stat, says: Finn has 45 wickets in his 11 Tests, at 25.73 with a strike rate of 39.32 compared with old-timer Lohman who had 112 wickets in 34 balls each. Not all his victims turned out to be Test stars. Five more wickets and Finn will have beaten Botham's record of 50 wickets at 22 years and 261 days. Finn will not be 22 until April 4.
Thursday 16 December 2010
Falling behind
THIRD TEST
To lunch: The pitch was so green we might have been in Cork or Donegal and when Strauss won the toss he made sure Ponting knew the Aussies would bat. Watson was wrongly given out in the first over - but reprieved - Tremlett bowled Hughes, Ponting was caught acrobatically by Collingwood at slip, Clarke played a surrender shot to Prior, Watson was lbw and Smith caught at slip. If you never saw a team demoralised before you did today. By lunch they were 65-4 and when Hussey - pretending he had not hit the ball - was shown to be caught by Prior they were 137-6
To tea: The Aussies fought, of course. Haddin, strangely held back until to No.7, hit 53 and Johnson, looking so tense you could almost read his thoughts, top-scored with 62 while Siddle and Hilfenhaus put on 35 off 23 balls before Strauss remembered Swann was his best bowler. At tea 179-6 and you could say Australia should have been out for 210 or so but without a leader in any sense and with the top six in turmoil it is only a matter of time before England confirm their superiority. As against Australia A, Tremlett bowled beautifully and proved to be the right pick for all Bresnan's claims.
To close: Strauss who had a mixed day as captain and Cook knocked off 29 and now it appears to be plain sailing although Strauss must not forget Swann in the second innings when his flight and dip, backed by whatever turn he can find still hold the key. Sometimes I wish I was there.
The veteran texts: "To think I was worried there might be an Aussie revival. Perhaps I am getting past it. I can't keep up with the young 'uns!" It seems to me that there may be a tale to be told in that last sentence. Kate also texts: "The old boy is falling behind."
Lets give Jo King, the undoubted Queen of Stats, the last word. "Some people," she says with a raised eyebrow, "are suggesting England might win this game after their victory in the second Test. It would be the first time England have beaten Australia in successive Tests since the Edgbaston and Oval matches of 1985."
To lunch: The pitch was so green we might have been in Cork or Donegal and when Strauss won the toss he made sure Ponting knew the Aussies would bat. Watson was wrongly given out in the first over - but reprieved - Tremlett bowled Hughes, Ponting was caught acrobatically by Collingwood at slip, Clarke played a surrender shot to Prior, Watson was lbw and Smith caught at slip. If you never saw a team demoralised before you did today. By lunch they were 65-4 and when Hussey - pretending he had not hit the ball - was shown to be caught by Prior they were 137-6
To tea: The Aussies fought, of course. Haddin, strangely held back until to No.7, hit 53 and Johnson, looking so tense you could almost read his thoughts, top-scored with 62 while Siddle and Hilfenhaus put on 35 off 23 balls before Strauss remembered Swann was his best bowler. At tea 179-6 and you could say Australia should have been out for 210 or so but without a leader in any sense and with the top six in turmoil it is only a matter of time before England confirm their superiority. As against Australia A, Tremlett bowled beautifully and proved to be the right pick for all Bresnan's claims.
To close: Strauss who had a mixed day as captain and Cook knocked off 29 and now it appears to be plain sailing although Strauss must not forget Swann in the second innings when his flight and dip, backed by whatever turn he can find still hold the key. Sometimes I wish I was there.
The veteran texts: "To think I was worried there might be an Aussie revival. Perhaps I am getting past it. I can't keep up with the young 'uns!" It seems to me that there may be a tale to be told in that last sentence. Kate also texts: "The old boy is falling behind."
Lets give Jo King, the undoubted Queen of Stats, the last word. "Some people," she says with a raised eyebrow, "are suggesting England might win this game after their victory in the second Test. It would be the first time England have beaten Australia in successive Tests since the Edgbaston and Oval matches of 1985."
Tuesday 7 December 2010
Clear cut catastrophe
FIFTH DAY
It was all done and dusted by lunch on Hussey had hoisted the surrender flag with a high lob which no place in this match nor at Wimbledon. Swann in his present mood cannot tolerate tail-enders as bad as the last three Aussie batsman and they cannot fathom him. The result was that England won by an innings and 71 runs just before lunch.
I cannot remember a more comprehensive victory by England against anyone away from home. I guess that Brearley's side had one and certainly Hutton's side - stoked by the fire that came from Tyson - but those I have seen in the last 25 years were snatched in tight games that might have gone either way.
Now for the series. Lets hope for 3-0. The Aussie commentators so remind me of the way Willis and Co used to rattle on in the 1990s which brought players unfit to tread the boards into the side only to be rejected as if somehow it was their fault.
Jo King, stats Qeen, says: It is England's first innings victory in Australia for almost a quarter of a century. Mike Gatting's side won in Melbourne by an innings and 14 runs and only 11 other England sides have won by innings.
It was all done and dusted by lunch on Hussey had hoisted the surrender flag with a high lob which no place in this match nor at Wimbledon. Swann in his present mood cannot tolerate tail-enders as bad as the last three Aussie batsman and they cannot fathom him. The result was that England won by an innings and 71 runs just before lunch.
I cannot remember a more comprehensive victory by England against anyone away from home. I guess that Brearley's side had one and certainly Hutton's side - stoked by the fire that came from Tyson - but those I have seen in the last 25 years were snatched in tight games that might have gone either way.
Now for the series. Lets hope for 3-0. The Aussie commentators so remind me of the way Willis and Co used to rattle on in the 1990s which brought players unfit to tread the boards into the side only to be rejected as if somehow it was their fault.
Jo King, stats Qeen, says: It is England's first innings victory in Australia for almost a quarter of a century. Mike Gatting's side won in Melbourne by an innings and 14 runs and only 11 other England sides have won by innings.
Monday 6 December 2010
Last minute luck
FOURTH DAY
To lunch: Strauss battted on for half an hour, KP reached 227, his highest Test score, and Prior, with 27 off 21 balls, played just the right innings. Australia, at their positive best too. set off as if they were chasing down a T/20 score until Swann put the brakes on: 78-0 was a good start. Kate. apparently alive again after several days of silence, texted: "These bastards are going to win! but I think not.
To tea: Katich, who has an ankle problem, got out four runs into the afternoon and after scratching around for 19 balls, Ponting was anapped up by Collingwood in the slips and Watson caught off Finn. Two successes for Swann and all's right with the world but Clarke bustled in like a general on his first grand parade, and Hussey was at his most obdurate so that tea came at 160 for three.
To close: Bad light stopped play for an hour and it looked as if England might be a wicket or two short at the end but off the last ball - bowled by K "I'm an all-rounder"P - Clarke was caught after some nonsence with "whose referral is it anyway" Australia finished on 238-4 and even Boycott thought England would win "comfortably".They get their luck when they need it, like Australia used to and Manchester United always have.
Jo King, turns Memory Girl: In 1992-3 on the ground fmmed for high scoring, Australia needed just 186 to beat West Indies - and lost by one run. To this day Craig McDermott swears the ball that go him caught behind hit his chest. The umpire was Darrell Hair. An Aussie. Well, it happened in those days but not any more and I'm throwing my vote behind Boycs abd Ted who are both English and say they are, naturally, backing the Strauss lads.
To lunch: Strauss battted on for half an hour, KP reached 227, his highest Test score, and Prior, with 27 off 21 balls, played just the right innings. Australia, at their positive best too. set off as if they were chasing down a T/20 score until Swann put the brakes on: 78-0 was a good start. Kate. apparently alive again after several days of silence, texted: "These bastards are going to win! but I think not.
To tea: Katich, who has an ankle problem, got out four runs into the afternoon and after scratching around for 19 balls, Ponting was anapped up by Collingwood in the slips and Watson caught off Finn. Two successes for Swann and all's right with the world but Clarke bustled in like a general on his first grand parade, and Hussey was at his most obdurate so that tea came at 160 for three.
To close: Bad light stopped play for an hour and it looked as if England might be a wicket or two short at the end but off the last ball - bowled by K "I'm an all-rounder"P - Clarke was caught after some nonsence with "whose referral is it anyway" Australia finished on 238-4 and even Boycott thought England would win "comfortably".They get their luck when they need it, like Australia used to and Manchester United always have.
Jo King, turns Memory Girl: In 1992-3 on the ground fmmed for high scoring, Australia needed just 186 to beat West Indies - and lost by one run. To this day Craig McDermott swears the ball that go him caught behind hit his chest. The umpire was Darrell Hair. An Aussie. Well, it happened in those days but not any more and I'm throwing my vote behind Boycs abd Ted who are both English and say they are, naturally, backing the Strauss lads.
Sunday 5 December 2010
KP at the double
THIRD DAY
To Lunch: Trott's value was shown by the total when he was out - 176-3. He is far from the most dynamic batsman in history but he takes those runs on offer and if he is batting with KP the rate stays high. All that was needed now KP had shown he was at his best were workmanlike innings as provided by Trott and Collingwood. At lunch England were 449-3 and the wise men of Australian cricket close to admitting their bowling had no answers.
To tea: Collingwood missed a straight ball but he had done his work and KP, driving through the onside and down the vee, or simply hitting, rubbed in the lessons of England's chances of beating a weak side. It began to rain as KP reached his double hundred and they did not return after tea at 551-4, 306 ahead and whatever the weather able to ocntrol the rest of the match. Although we must remember what happened four years ago even if there are no giants of Warne's stature in this Ausralian side.
Jo King, Queen stat, says: KP needs n handful of runs to beat his personal best of 226 against West Indies at Headingle but my guess is that Strauss will take one look at the overhead cloud and go flat out for the win. If he can squeeze a minute or two for KP he will reap the benefit later in the series because to KP confidence is like a drug and a new PB will undoubtedly encourage him to score even more runs.
To Lunch: Trott's value was shown by the total when he was out - 176-3. He is far from the most dynamic batsman in history but he takes those runs on offer and if he is batting with KP the rate stays high. All that was needed now KP had shown he was at his best were workmanlike innings as provided by Trott and Collingwood. At lunch England were 449-3 and the wise men of Australian cricket close to admitting their bowling had no answers.
To tea: Collingwood missed a straight ball but he had done his work and KP, driving through the onside and down the vee, or simply hitting, rubbed in the lessons of England's chances of beating a weak side. It began to rain as KP reached his double hundred and they did not return after tea at 551-4, 306 ahead and whatever the weather able to ocntrol the rest of the match. Although we must remember what happened four years ago even if there are no giants of Warne's stature in this Ausralian side.
Jo King, Queen stat, says: KP needs n handful of runs to beat his personal best of 226 against West Indies at Headingle but my guess is that Strauss will take one look at the overhead cloud and go flat out for the win. If he can squeeze a minute or two for KP he will reap the benefit later in the series because to KP confidence is like a drug and a new PB will undoubtedly encourage him to score even more runs.
Saturday 4 December 2010
Cook can't stop
SECOND DAY
To lunch: Third ball and Strauss is out allowing a ball to go past, except it didn't. Never mind, by lunch Cook and Trott have taken to score to 90-1 in perfect safety. What is wrong with Strauss? Too much on his mind is my guess.
To tea: Trott reaches 78 without trouble before carelessly hitting a catch to Clarke at mid-wicket. He has already proved his worth for all there are many who resent his selection. When the first two Aussie wickets fell on day one Clarke was still in the nets, we hear. This sort of lack of discipline can be seen all the way through his team. England have concentration, discipline and application in bucketloads. It is the main difference between the two sides and Cook us there to demonstrate its value with 90 at tea while KP already looks set for a steady innings.
To close: So it turns out. Cook trots beyond 400 for the series, KP just like the big, rangy, I'm here to make mincemeat of anyone who tries to bowl, star batsman of two years ago. He's 85 and Cook, showing off in front of his parents, is 136 and no doubt seeing another double in his mind's eye.
Jo King, stats Queen, says: Stamina or runs Alistair Cook is surely man of the series already. He has been on the pitch for all but 11 overs and he cannot stop scoring runs and building partnerships. To think there were plenty of people who did not want him to play.
To lunch: Third ball and Strauss is out allowing a ball to go past, except it didn't. Never mind, by lunch Cook and Trott have taken to score to 90-1 in perfect safety. What is wrong with Strauss? Too much on his mind is my guess.
To tea: Trott reaches 78 without trouble before carelessly hitting a catch to Clarke at mid-wicket. He has already proved his worth for all there are many who resent his selection. When the first two Aussie wickets fell on day one Clarke was still in the nets, we hear. This sort of lack of discipline can be seen all the way through his team. England have concentration, discipline and application in bucketloads. It is the main difference between the two sides and Cook us there to demonstrate its value with 90 at tea while KP already looks set for a steady innings.
To close: So it turns out. Cook trots beyond 400 for the series, KP just like the big, rangy, I'm here to make mincemeat of anyone who tries to bowl, star batsman of two years ago. He's 85 and Cook, showing off in front of his parents, is 136 and no doubt seeing another double in his mind's eye.
Jo King, stats Queen, says: Stamina or runs Alistair Cook is surely man of the series already. He has been on the pitch for all but 11 overs and he cannot stop scoring runs and building partnerships. To think there were plenty of people who did not want him to play.
Friday 3 December 2010
Losing the plot
SECOND TEST
To lunch: In a blink of an eye Katich, Ponting and Clarke were all gone for two runs, and you do not fight back from those blows easily.
To tea: Inevitably an Australian improvement but with only Finn below par and the last three Australian batsmen indisputably tail-enders there was always going to be a small total.
To close: Ponting is always defeated when he loses his temper and tonight he left the field shouting at Strauss. Last time, remember, it was Duncan Fletcher who caught his wrath. That outburst as the two sides left the field may be the clearest sign that there are big problems in the Australian dressing room, in particular for Ponting. Besides it has come to my notice that Mitchell Johnson, out of form fast bowler, shouted at Greg Chappell, the new supremo among the Australia selectors, after being dropped. Doesn't Johnson realise that his Brisbane bowling was so below par that he had become an enbarrassment. He was simply not performing at first-class level; he had to go.
Jo King, Stats Queen, says: It is 13 years since a side was bowled out on the first day at Adelaide where we remember Mohammad Azhurrudin, Mark Waugh and Paul Collingwood filling the air with gorgeous strokes and filling their boots at the same time.In 1997 it was West Indies, another side on their way down, who made 130 in 47.5 overs.
To lunch: In a blink of an eye Katich, Ponting and Clarke were all gone for two runs, and you do not fight back from those blows easily.
To tea: Inevitably an Australian improvement but with only Finn below par and the last three Australian batsmen indisputably tail-enders there was always going to be a small total.
To close: Ponting is always defeated when he loses his temper and tonight he left the field shouting at Strauss. Last time, remember, it was Duncan Fletcher who caught his wrath. That outburst as the two sides left the field may be the clearest sign that there are big problems in the Australian dressing room, in particular for Ponting. Besides it has come to my notice that Mitchell Johnson, out of form fast bowler, shouted at Greg Chappell, the new supremo among the Australia selectors, after being dropped. Doesn't Johnson realise that his Brisbane bowling was so below par that he had become an enbarrassment. He was simply not performing at first-class level; he had to go.
Jo King, Stats Queen, says: It is 13 years since a side was bowled out on the first day at Adelaide where we remember Mohammad Azhurrudin, Mark Waugh and Paul Collingwood filling the air with gorgeous strokes and filling their boots at the same time.In 1997 it was West Indies, another side on their way down, who made 130 in 47.5 overs.
Monday 29 November 2010
Records galore
LAST DAY
To lunch: Strauss had to decide whether to declare or allow Cook a crack at Lara's world record of 400. In the end - conservatively - he ordered him to go for a double hundred and Cook never looked likely to get out anywhere short of that figure. No declaration at lunch; apparently a figure of seven runs an over was reckoned to be beyond Australia and 439-1 was not big enough.
To tea: Records fell the way England wickets used to fall - regularly. Too many to list but it was the first time an England Test side had passed 500 with only one wicket down. Stauss declared close to tea at 517-1which seems to be another example of his extreme conservative nature but, remember, no wicket had fallen for six hours, the pitch was as true as those old time featherbeds and the England second wicket pair are unbeaten after 327 precious runs.
To close: Just time for Katich to get out and a relieved Ponting get to a 43-ball fifty before a draw was recorded. Uniquely both sides had got out of jail without major concerns before the flat bed of a track at Adelaide and, surely, another draw.
"I knew we'd beat 'em," says a text from Wagga Wagga where, one suspects, the world wide web has gone crook. Are they driving to Adelaide? Walking? Biking? Hitch hking?I ask Kate by text but there is no answer. Another mystery hung over from this placid first Test.
Jo king, Queen stat, says: Don't be surprised if England win in Adelaide. They have forced eight victories altogether, three since the Second World War. Don't you remember? All rounder Phil De Freitas was man of the match in 1994-5with a second innings 88. "For me batting, for me batting!" he kept saying.
To lunch: Strauss had to decide whether to declare or allow Cook a crack at Lara's world record of 400. In the end - conservatively - he ordered him to go for a double hundred and Cook never looked likely to get out anywhere short of that figure. No declaration at lunch; apparently a figure of seven runs an over was reckoned to be beyond Australia and 439-1 was not big enough.
To tea: Records fell the way England wickets used to fall - regularly. Too many to list but it was the first time an England Test side had passed 500 with only one wicket down. Stauss declared close to tea at 517-1which seems to be another example of his extreme conservative nature but, remember, no wicket had fallen for six hours, the pitch was as true as those old time featherbeds and the England second wicket pair are unbeaten after 327 precious runs.
To close: Just time for Katich to get out and a relieved Ponting get to a 43-ball fifty before a draw was recorded. Uniquely both sides had got out of jail without major concerns before the flat bed of a track at Adelaide and, surely, another draw.
"I knew we'd beat 'em," says a text from Wagga Wagga where, one suspects, the world wide web has gone crook. Are they driving to Adelaide? Walking? Biking? Hitch hking?I ask Kate by text but there is no answer. Another mystery hung over from this placid first Test.
Jo king, Queen stat, says: Don't be surprised if England win in Adelaide. They have forced eight victories altogether, three since the Second World War. Don't you remember? All rounder Phil De Freitas was man of the match in 1994-5with a second innings 88. "For me batting, for me batting!" he kept saying.
Sunday 28 November 2010
Forget victory
FOURTH DAY
To lunch: The start of the triumph. Strauss 79 and Cook 51 add 116 to the overnight 19-0 while the added time means Australia bowl 31 overs. Not a sign of venom in this slowish pitch and instead of the steaming attack of the first innings Ponting has to rely on North.
To tea: Strauss reaches his 19th Test century and then gets stumped leaping down the pitch at 188 but who cares. Trott cares. He wastes no time retaking his guard, he has a purposeful look and he keeps the scoreboard buzzing. He and Cook smooth their way to 238-1 although Cook, who has had remarkably little strike, is stuck on 98.
To close: By the end in bad light Cook and Trott have created a power base that will make Australia worried about a defeat. The England lead is 88 and still there is no sign of a tricky pitch. So my advice to Strauss and a concerned looking Flower - after what The Sun Called a "cancer op ordeal" (lasting 24hours in hospital) - is to forget victory and concentrate on the draw. That will send two messages. "We are powerful enough to get over a bad first innings" and "we can wait until you collapse so badly we can't help winning". By the way I am not kidding myself the players will take any notice. They will want to push the Aussies over the cliff. Wrong. It is time for patience.
Jo King's Royal stat . Don't worry. England always win if Strauss makes a duck and a century - in Jo-burg in 2004-5 and in Napier in 2007-8. And do not forget the match number. This is the 1981st Test and we all know what happened in 1981. Not just the Royal wedding but Brearley's comeback and an Ashes triumph.
To lunch: The start of the triumph. Strauss 79 and Cook 51 add 116 to the overnight 19-0 while the added time means Australia bowl 31 overs. Not a sign of venom in this slowish pitch and instead of the steaming attack of the first innings Ponting has to rely on North.
To tea: Strauss reaches his 19th Test century and then gets stumped leaping down the pitch at 188 but who cares. Trott cares. He wastes no time retaking his guard, he has a purposeful look and he keeps the scoreboard buzzing. He and Cook smooth their way to 238-1 although Cook, who has had remarkably little strike, is stuck on 98.
To close: By the end in bad light Cook and Trott have created a power base that will make Australia worried about a defeat. The England lead is 88 and still there is no sign of a tricky pitch. So my advice to Strauss and a concerned looking Flower - after what The Sun Called a "cancer op ordeal" (lasting 24hours in hospital) - is to forget victory and concentrate on the draw. That will send two messages. "We are powerful enough to get over a bad first innings" and "we can wait until you collapse so badly we can't help winning". By the way I am not kidding myself the players will take any notice. They will want to push the Aussies over the cliff. Wrong. It is time for patience.
Jo King's Royal stat . Don't worry. England always win if Strauss makes a duck and a century - in Jo-burg in 2004-5 and in Napier in 2007-8. And do not forget the match number. This is the 1981st Test and we all know what happened in 1981. Not just the Royal wedding but Brearley's comeback and an Ashes triumph.
Saturday 27 November 2010
Finn takes it easy
THIRD DAY
To lunch: I felt that, despite the huge Aussie score and the massive stand for the sixth wicket, there was big encouragement for England. The first session showed their bowlers at their best even though by the interval Hussey had 124 and Haddin 79 at 329-5.
To tea: The pair were still together but none of the five England bowlers was conceding four an over and although Anderson, their best fielder, dropped Haddin on 113 436-5 did not seem insurmountable. Broad, who needed treatment for blisters on his feet, did not take a wicket but Hussey apparently said he was the most difficult. Score 436-5.
To close To his credit Strauss had kept Finn fresh and, with that easy action that makes bowling look pleasurable, the new boy finished with six wickets as Australia lost five for 45. Hussey was caught pulling - his most productive stroke - for 195 and Haddin was smartly taken low at slip by Collingwood, showing wonderful concentration. Strauss and Cook batted easily to the end; of course the big trial comes on day four.
Jo King, stats Queen says: England controlled the game so effectively that the Hussey-Haddin stand of 307 spanned 93 overs, more than a day's play. Put it another way. Australia scored at 3.88 at Brisbane in 2006, 3.72 at Cardiff in 2009 and 3.07 at Brisbane in 2010.
To lunch: I felt that, despite the huge Aussie score and the massive stand for the sixth wicket, there was big encouragement for England. The first session showed their bowlers at their best even though by the interval Hussey had 124 and Haddin 79 at 329-5.
To tea: The pair were still together but none of the five England bowlers was conceding four an over and although Anderson, their best fielder, dropped Haddin on 113 436-5 did not seem insurmountable. Broad, who needed treatment for blisters on his feet, did not take a wicket but Hussey apparently said he was the most difficult. Score 436-5.
To close To his credit Strauss had kept Finn fresh and, with that easy action that makes bowling look pleasurable, the new boy finished with six wickets as Australia lost five for 45. Hussey was caught pulling - his most productive stroke - for 195 and Haddin was smartly taken low at slip by Collingwood, showing wonderful concentration. Strauss and Cook batted easily to the end; of course the big trial comes on day four.
Jo King, stats Queen says: England controlled the game so effectively that the Hussey-Haddin stand of 307 spanned 93 overs, more than a day's play. Put it another way. Australia scored at 3.88 at Brisbane in 2006, 3.72 at Cardiff in 2009 and 3.07 at Brisbane in 2010.
Friday 26 November 2010
Mr. Cricket hits mid-wicket
SECOND DAY
To lunch: Anderson bowled maiden after maiden but just one wicket fell, magic balls were few and far between and Australia were 96 for the loss of Watson.
To tea: What a different story in the afternoon. (Text from outer Brisbane said "Listen to us sing!") Ponting was out in the first over, Katich went three runs later and Clarke looked, frankly, like a batsman suffering back problems. He needed 50 balls to score nine before he gave Prior his 100th Test dismissal. (Good isn't it that we don't even think of him as a poor keeper any more.) North lasted only eight balls before he became Swann's first victim and at 143-5 it seemed England had a stranglehold.
To close: Hussey - finished according to the Aussie papers a few days ago - and Haddin batted from the tea score of 168-5 to the close at 220. Now it looks as if Australia will establish a healthy lead on first innings. Blame the bowlers. They fed Hussey a regular supply of long hops which he hit to mid wicket for four. Simple for Mr. Cricket.
A text without words arrives "from my Blackberry." A month ago my little Lotto lot could not afford the bus fare to pick blackberries. Now they are living like Royalty but a tipsy Royalty I suspect.
Jo King, stat Queen, says: Hussey, unbeaten on 81, desperately needs a century. His average has slipped from almost 80 after the 2006-7 series, to 52.65 in 2009 and 49.75 at the start of this series. He may be top scorer so far in this game but he is clearly at a career crossroads.
To lunch: Anderson bowled maiden after maiden but just one wicket fell, magic balls were few and far between and Australia were 96 for the loss of Watson.
To tea: What a different story in the afternoon. (Text from outer Brisbane said "Listen to us sing!") Ponting was out in the first over, Katich went three runs later and Clarke looked, frankly, like a batsman suffering back problems. He needed 50 balls to score nine before he gave Prior his 100th Test dismissal. (Good isn't it that we don't even think of him as a poor keeper any more.) North lasted only eight balls before he became Swann's first victim and at 143-5 it seemed England had a stranglehold.
To close: Hussey - finished according to the Aussie papers a few days ago - and Haddin batted from the tea score of 168-5 to the close at 220. Now it looks as if Australia will establish a healthy lead on first innings. Blame the bowlers. They fed Hussey a regular supply of long hops which he hit to mid wicket for four. Simple for Mr. Cricket.
A text without words arrives "from my Blackberry." A month ago my little Lotto lot could not afford the bus fare to pick blackberries. Now they are living like Royalty but a tipsy Royalty I suspect.
Jo King, stat Queen, says: Hussey, unbeaten on 81, desperately needs a century. His average has slipped from almost 80 after the 2006-7 series, to 52.65 in 2009 and 49.75 at the start of this series. He may be top scorer so far in this game but he is clearly at a career crossroads.
Wednesday 24 November 2010
Man of the match already
Test match No. 1981. Is that significant?
To lunch. We didn't think it was our lucky number - Botham and all that - after the third ball when Strauss cut a ball that dipped in straight to slip. What a miserable moment after winning the toss and declaring he could not wait to start. At 41 Jonathon Trott was bowled following an hour of painful batting. Lunch 86-2 and KP looking good while Cook stumbled but survived.
To tea. Even though four were out for 172, England seemed set fair for a decent if not spectacular score. Wrong again. Pietersen was caught at slip but Collingwood lasted only ten minutes. Bell survived a dropped catch by the keeper and was solid in footwork and technique while Cook was improving. Then at 197 the sky fell in.
The close. Cook edged Siddle to Watson's midriff for 67, Prior played anywhere but straight next ball and, despite an appeal, Broad was lbw - all to Siddle. A hat trick! Wow. Now which side was on top as England surveyed the wreckage of 197-7.
Siddle, on his 26th birthday and a year after his last Test, had bowled dynamically at no more than 82 miles an hour. Man of the match already. I wished Alec Bedser, who disapproved of all fast bowling, had been alive to see a classic display of fast medium in the way of Sydney Barnes, Maurice Tate and a dozen other Englishmen. It was not Australian bowling which is usually seven or eight miles an hour quicker; the nearest modern example is Shaun Pollock, an underestimated great South African.
Bell, Swann and Anderson scrambled a few more; England 260. Katich, hopping around like Kim Barnett on speed AND a hot tin roof, and Watson scored 25. Australia's day by a kangeroo kilometer. Day one of 30 had been an England disaster.
From my sofa I got a couple of glimpses of the Lotto lot. I guess they had had something to drink; they looked so happy. As for their promised texts of wisdom about the reasons for this mayhem - not a word. I hope they enjoyed Siddle and Australia as they made a major contribution to one of the great days of Ashes cricket.
Jo King, Queen Stat, says: Peter Siddle's magnificent hat trick was the 11th by an Australian bowler; the first was by Fred Spofforth, aged 25, 6ft 3in and, judging from his pictures thin as a super model. "A swarthy, black-haired lady killer with long sideburns, a droopy moustache and surplus vitality" so the old books say. His hat trick came in the Melbourne Test of 1878-9 and from that moment legends grew round the quick bowler. Those same books say he rode to and from a match in Victoria to Sydney by horse - a round trip of 400 miles. Eventually he settled in Surrey, played until he was more than 50 and died, aged 73, leaving the equivalent today of £3m.
Hours later an unprintable text arrives. I think it fair to translate it as a day of disappointment. For those near and far.
To lunch. We didn't think it was our lucky number - Botham and all that - after the third ball when Strauss cut a ball that dipped in straight to slip. What a miserable moment after winning the toss and declaring he could not wait to start. At 41 Jonathon Trott was bowled following an hour of painful batting. Lunch 86-2 and KP looking good while Cook stumbled but survived.
To tea. Even though four were out for 172, England seemed set fair for a decent if not spectacular score. Wrong again. Pietersen was caught at slip but Collingwood lasted only ten minutes. Bell survived a dropped catch by the keeper and was solid in footwork and technique while Cook was improving. Then at 197 the sky fell in.
The close. Cook edged Siddle to Watson's midriff for 67, Prior played anywhere but straight next ball and, despite an appeal, Broad was lbw - all to Siddle. A hat trick! Wow. Now which side was on top as England surveyed the wreckage of 197-7.
Siddle, on his 26th birthday and a year after his last Test, had bowled dynamically at no more than 82 miles an hour. Man of the match already. I wished Alec Bedser, who disapproved of all fast bowling, had been alive to see a classic display of fast medium in the way of Sydney Barnes, Maurice Tate and a dozen other Englishmen. It was not Australian bowling which is usually seven or eight miles an hour quicker; the nearest modern example is Shaun Pollock, an underestimated great South African.
Bell, Swann and Anderson scrambled a few more; England 260. Katich, hopping around like Kim Barnett on speed AND a hot tin roof, and Watson scored 25. Australia's day by a kangeroo kilometer. Day one of 30 had been an England disaster.
From my sofa I got a couple of glimpses of the Lotto lot. I guess they had had something to drink; they looked so happy. As for their promised texts of wisdom about the reasons for this mayhem - not a word. I hope they enjoyed Siddle and Australia as they made a major contribution to one of the great days of Ashes cricket.
Jo King, Queen Stat, says: Peter Siddle's magnificent hat trick was the 11th by an Australian bowler; the first was by Fred Spofforth, aged 25, 6ft 3in and, judging from his pictures thin as a super model. "A swarthy, black-haired lady killer with long sideburns, a droopy moustache and surplus vitality" so the old books say. His hat trick came in the Melbourne Test of 1878-9 and from that moment legends grew round the quick bowler. Those same books say he rode to and from a match in Victoria to Sydney by horse - a round trip of 400 miles. Eventually he settled in Surrey, played until he was more than 50 and died, aged 73, leaving the equivalent today of £3m.
Hours later an unprintable text arrives. I think it fair to translate it as a day of disappointment. For those near and far.
Verdict time
Ted Corbett, veteran of a million Test days, says: It's the eve of the - if you listen to all the TV and radio bull - most important Test in history and I am dead worried that the fighting Aussies might squeeze out a series victory 1-0. Oz ought to lose because they are a poor side, with a mix of old and raw and suffering all the misery like bad selections, Michael Clarke's bad back and, unjustified ambition from their fans, that goes with losing. Logically England 3-1.
Jo King, Statistician Royal, says: Do not, Andrew Strauss, on pain of an hour under the water board, put the Aussies in. Understood? Len Hutton did, lost by an innings, won the series and got a knighthood. Nasser Hussain still cannot believe, eight years on, that he said: "We'll field." Peter May won the toss at Brisbane in 1959 but Nasser is the only one since and where is his tap on the shoulder. If the captain does as he is told England 2-1
The rich guys in the Gabba: Sorry to be so down but we will follow KP all the way back to the pavilion - and still cheer an England victory here. As for the series, well, not so sure. A draw maybe 2-2
Greg Orry, Aussie barracker, says: I can't back the Aussies but I trust England can win with a bit of style 3-0.
Jo King, Statistician Royal, says: Do not, Andrew Strauss, on pain of an hour under the water board, put the Aussies in. Understood? Len Hutton did, lost by an innings, won the series and got a knighthood. Nasser Hussain still cannot believe, eight years on, that he said: "We'll field." Peter May won the toss at Brisbane in 1959 but Nasser is the only one since and where is his tap on the shoulder. If the captain does as he is told England 2-1
The rich guys in the Gabba: Sorry to be so down but we will follow KP all the way back to the pavilion - and still cheer an England victory here. As for the series, well, not so sure. A draw maybe 2-2
Greg Orry, Aussie barracker, says: I can't back the Aussies but I trust England can win with a bit of style 3-0.
Tuesday 23 November 2010
A shocker awaits
Just a few hours to go but my rich friends have been busy. "We've kept you a seat," says one text. So have I. My sofa opposite the world's biggest TV set and next to the DAB radio on which to hear the intelligent commentary of the radio chaps Agnew, Marks and the rest describing what I am about to see one second later. You know about all that satellite delay, don't you. I shall have coffee when needed, a hard frost outside and the company of my favourite stats lady who promises to provide us with one delicious fact a day for the duration of the Ashes. You can read my commentary soon after close of play - if I stay awake. And don't worry. The new rich will read this paragraph and pass the ticket on. The seat will not be wasted, either in the middle of the Fens or in the middle of the Gabba. In 24 hours, by the way, you can read my assessment of the five Tests and unless I have a major change of mind you may received a shock.
Thursday 18 November 2010
How many?
SEVENTEEN in the Australian Test squad! SEVENTEEN! And one of the ex-Test men said at 4.30am GMT that any of the Australia A team might ALSO by included. Perhaps a squad of TWENTY in total. Maybe more? Any youngish Aussie with his own whites? Ricky Ponting could spend more time telling players they are not wanted than setting the field. Watch it, Straussy, you may have the better side but you are going to be seriously outnumbered.
Tuesday 16 November 2010
No kidding!
Greg, the young Aussie, leads the Ashes Five off to Hobart for the final match before the first Test, 30 degrees Celcius cooler north in Brisbane. Four of the England party don't make the trip so they can get used to the Brisbane heat. Kate texts: "God is it bloody cold. Even the one horse is shivering. Greg keeps going on at me to sleep with him and if it gets two degrees cooler I'll have to give in. Ooops, sorry, I have given in. Bloody hell that was quick! Where is young Bobby when a girl needs a knight in shining armour. Oh, well,at least no Aussie can get me pregnant." Bobby is the young cricketer who tags along when he can't get an overseas gig for the winter. Nice girl Kate and you are never sure when she is kidding.
Thursday 11 November 2010
Jimmy riddle
We are worried about Jimmy Anderson. Now that Paul Collingwood - good old reliable Colly, stout heart, hero of the last Ashes Test at Adelaide and all round good fella - has made a few runs it is clear that the team that is playing against South Australia must play in the first Test, 15 days hence. Except for Jimmy, victim of a nasty blow to the ribs, behind with his training, his match fitness and all his other preparations, and, who knows, not ready for five days in the Brisbane sun. So let us be prepared for him to sit it out and - perhaps - Tim Bresnan to fill in, just for one Test. If Steven Finn is a success - and I expect him to be - Anderson may have to sit out at least one other Test so that Monty Panesar, the weapon Shane Warne thinks ought to be sitting at home in Northamptonshire, staring at his navel, can strike fear into the Aussies.
Sunday 7 November 2010
Strauss the hero
England win their first match against Western Australia mainly due to a century from Andrew Strauss. His batting will be a key to the series as Alistair Cook has had two poor innings and the predictions that Kevin Pietersen will come good one day soon are proving to be half true at best. I am expecting a lot from Jonathon Trott too.
Meanwhile, four hours flying time away in Brisbane, life is proceeding in the way you might expect. Other tourists are finding that the Aussie dollar rate for the pound sterling is making food and, not least of all, drink expensive. Not for our merry Lotto lunatics. They have gone over to single word texts. So far I have had two "WILD!", one "You Must Join Us Pronto" and today "Ouch, me ead urts." Regular updates on this blog or, if their previous form is anything to go by, reports from the nearest magistrates court.
Meanwhile, four hours flying time away in Brisbane, life is proceeding in the way you might expect. Other tourists are finding that the Aussie dollar rate for the pound sterling is making food and, not least of all, drink expensive. Not for our merry Lotto lunatics. They have gone over to single word texts. So far I have had two "WILD!", one "You Must Join Us Pronto" and today "Ouch, me ead urts." Regular updates on this blog or, if their previous form is anything to go by, reports from the nearest magistrates court.
Tuesday 2 November 2010
Decision time
That settles it. The gang are willing to pay for me and the missus to travel out to Oz and find us a nice hotel but I reckon it will be better for me to stay here, sit up all night and watch on my lovely large TV with coffee and the wind howling in the trees. I will get the gang to text their impressions and the bizarre details and I will write, say, 400 words three times a day from each Test. All I have to do is find them an exciting bet - they don't need the money do they - and I am working on that, I don't regret my decision to stay at home. Australia has changed since 1982 when I first dropped into Sydney airport, had a fine old row with two Customs ladies (I'm being generous here you understand) and arrived in Brisbane several hours late. Much more authoritarian, much less fun, more controlled, less "She'll be apples" which was their way of saying "don't worry" and too obviously peopled not just by the descendants of convicts but by the great, great grandchildren of policemen and prison warders. Pity. I used to love every trip but in the end Melbourne reminds you of Manchester, Adelaide is cute like Aberdeen but hotter and even vibrant, exciting old Sydney goes a murky grey.
Monday 1 November 2010
The Lotto party
My friends could not possibly keep their secret to themselves for long. After several emails, texts, SMSs and the like - going "Ha bloody Ha" and "U just don't no do u" - they finally front up. "As it is your birthday," says their first honest message - " we'd better tell you what is going on." They claim to be in the "only eight star hotel in the southern hemisphere" and living on champagne and dangerous chemicals. How come this change in lifestyle for a bunch who would certainly have struggled to keep their rust bucket car in petrol if they had stuck to the original plan and driven Nottingham to Sydney. "Kate's cousin who is not on her Christmas card list after he fails her dramatically one long evening of drink and all the rest is one of an extended family who win that big prize on the Euro Lotto and her lets her have a tiny bit as part of his divi up and she asks for more and says 'you are on a permanent promise' and he sends along a few bobs. So the four of us - Kate, the lad, the vet and the other waitress known as Busty - fly here first class, book into this nice, highly-recommended hotel and party." And finally "Send us your tip for a good bet and we will put a few bobs on for you as well as us." I am thinking about it.
Sunday 31 October 2010
The mystery deepens
An enigmatic text arrives. "You'll never guess where we are!!!" No, indeed. It is the text from a group who have no regard for the value of money, completely secure in their finances, happy to waste a few bob on a nothing message. Well, two can play at that game. "Who cares" I go. And wait.
Monday 25 October 2010
Desert Pong
It's almost the end of October, there is a distinct chill in the air, the players are on their way and it has been a while since I heard a word from the travel group without a clue. "Help" is not even a decent hint when you don't have an itinerary, an estimated time of arrival or even a phone number that works. I try ringing various mobiles until I find one with the right number on the floor of the garage. What a bunch of helpless souls they are; probably stuck in the desert, without food and water or any defence against the Mardi and his savage camel cavalry. I'll give 'em four feathers when I see them. Still 32 days before the first Test in Brisbane and Jon Agnew, on Five Live to plug his new book, says England must be expected to win ack the Ashes. Makes you feel sure that, er, almost anything can happen. Especially when the Hopeless Heroes are stuck in a sand dune somewhere. . .
Wednesday 13 October 2010
Help!
October 13 - and it is 28 years exactly since I flew to Australia for my first major tour. I have since realised that Bob Willis and his men almost drew that series. If there had been modern technology - I was still using a typewriter and sending my copy by telex - John Dyson would have been run out by Willis's direct hit in the first over of the final Test a couple of days after England had won the fourth Test. Instead by the final day it was down to Bob Taylor to provide the memorable moment by kissing the turf as his trips Down Under - so often fruitless while he waited for Alan Knott to trip over a carpet or be carried off by a dingo - came to an end. By the way, did you notice that the dingo baby case is still being fought out in Oz? Incidentally the news from our overland travellers is not good. I guess. Today I had a text which simply said: "Help." Where it came from or what sort of help was appropriate I cannot tell. I bet they're in the seats at the Gabba 44 days hence all the same.
Tuesday 12 October 2010
Travelling hopefully . . .
So from the beginning of the Test series I will be offering my thoughts on (a) England's progress and, I guess, (b) Australia's resistance.
All the old gang, including the guys from the cafe, will be onside with me and - what else would you expect - they will want to throw in their twopennyworth. No matter what the result we will be there until the end but we will only cover the one-day series if it looks interesting.
Why? Well, and this is the first serious opinion of the Australian adventure, surely one-day cricket is drawing to an inevitable close. Let me know if you feel I am wrong - or right come to that - and we can have a lively debate.
Before the Tests begin there is one other little adventure to be watched. The lads and lasses from the cafe tell me they have plans to drive overland to Australia. Oh dear. Through Iran and Afghanistan? I do hope they survive but that they have enough trials and tribulations to make an interesting story before we restart my New Ashes Diary Down Under.
All the old gang, including the guys from the cafe, will be onside with me and - what else would you expect - they will want to throw in their twopennyworth. No matter what the result we will be there until the end but we will only cover the one-day series if it looks interesting.
Why? Well, and this is the first serious opinion of the Australian adventure, surely one-day cricket is drawing to an inevitable close. Let me know if you feel I am wrong - or right come to that - and we can have a lively debate.
Before the Tests begin there is one other little adventure to be watched. The lads and lasses from the cafe tell me they have plans to drive overland to Australia. Oh dear. Through Iran and Afghanistan? I do hope they survive but that they have enough trials and tribulations to make an interesting story before we restart my New Ashes Diary Down Under.
Thursday 7 October 2010
We're back!
By the time the England team arrive in Oz the New Ashes Diary will be watching their every move. All the old favourites will be back on board but to get the full story so tune in again on Sunday - 10-10-10 appropriately - and find all our plans to support Andrew Strauss and his Outlaw Band as they tramp across the wide brown land leaving their opponents begging for mercy.
Well, we can all dream, can't we.
Well, we can all dream, can't we.
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