Desert Pong

It's almost the end of October, there is a distinct chill in the air, the players are on their way and it has been a while since I heard a word from the travel group without a clue. "Help" is not even a decent hint when you don't have an itinerary, an estimated time of arrival or even a phone number that works. I try ringing various mobiles until I find one with the right number on the floor of the garage. What a bunch of helpless souls they are; probably stuck in the desert, without food and water or any defence against the Mardi and his savage camel cavalry. I'll give 'em four feathers when I see them. Still 32 days before the first Test in Brisbane and Jon Agnew, on Five Live to plug his new book, says England must be expected to win ack the Ashes. Makes you feel sure that, er, almost anything can happen. Especially when the Hopeless Heroes are stuck in a sand dune somewhere. . .