Thursday 30 December 2010

Look back

The veteran texts 400 words. He is becoming adept with his new tech. "It was Bresnan what won it," he says, imitating The Sun all those Thatcher years ago. "He knows how to bowl, does the lad. Reminds me a bit of myself, all that long time ago." Let us see if Bresnan survives even as long as the next Test when there is a rumour that Panesar will take his place. I do hope not. Snotty Mike Atherton describes him as an honest toiler. Reminds me of a conversation with Clive Lloyd all those years ago. "It seems to me that as soon as they leave the field of play and become TV commentors they forget everything they learnt as cricketers," he said. I wonder, It's nore likely they think they have to talk populist rubbish to keep the - very well-paid - job on the gantry. "Move mid-off to extra cover," is nothing like as attractive a bit of commentary as "Why don't they put in a short leg and bounce him." The Lotto lads and lasses are already in Sydney preparing to celebrate the winning of the series, firewords over the Harbour and liberal supplies of Aussie wine. I do hope they are not disappointed. Tears ago I learnt not to trust the final game of an already decided one-day series. Just take note of my alledged wisdom. Remember Australia won the fifth Test when the Gatting team kept the Ashes all those years ago.

Wednesday 29 December 2010

Finished

FOURTH DAY

So, as we knew they must from the first morning, England won - by an innings and 157 runs and keep the Ashes which they have now held, despite 5-0 in Australia in 2006-7 - since September 2005. Tremlett, Swann and the hero of the hour Bresnan captured the remaining wickets before lunch. It must have been a sweet triumph for Bresnan, the subject of a damn-with-faint-praise campaign possibly because he is a touch on the weighty side, more than a touch of Yorkshire (Yorky is his dressing room nom-de-guerre) and particularly because he is not from Surrey, or Hampshire, or some other fashionable Home Counties side.

Wherever England go next - and they can rid themselves of good teams quicker than any other international side - I hope Bresnan is a force for good. I once asked Alec
Bedser when he first knew Fred Trueman was going to be a great. "Straight away," he said. "He could bowl" - and finishing with a broad Yorkshire accent - "e could bowl tha knows." So can Bresnan - either tight and close to the stumps or more fluidly wide out and tempting - and he has a genuinely quick ball. Don't mention that in front of some cricket experts; they'll respond with a damning definition of "medium pace, tha knows."

Strauss deserves that I give him another chance. I hear he has impeccable man management skills. I am fond of Paul Collingwood but it looks as if his day is done and there are young cricketers waiting for a chance. Pray they are as English as Colly and that our Southern African days are finishing.

As you know I come from the Ponting Finishing School, a harsh establishment run by men who care only for Australia's honour. We will know a lot about that School of Hard Knocks within a few days.

Tuesday 28 December 2010

A great farewell

THIRD DAY

Sorry Ricky but it it time to step down.

To lunch (at England all out score of 513) Trott continues, relentless, chanceless, without fault, to 168 off 345 balls but the rest provide only token aid, including Prior, now an immaculate wicket-keeper but a frail batsman for all his 82.

To tea (95-1) Only the run-out of Hughes, tomorrow's man maybe but certaihly not today's, spoils Australia's second innings march to safety, less than half way through the match. The veteran texts: "He's forgotten he has moveable feet."

To close (169-6 ) Why can no commentator see the merit of Bresnan? Even Chappelli says he cannot remember a bad ball as he whips out Watson, Ponting and Hussey, three stars; well, apart from Ponting that is. Bresnan is quicker sharper than he looks, keeps an immaculate length and line and, without fuss or bother, appears to know where to bowl. Only the similar, bustling Siddle with 6-75 and two catches has a bigger effect on the match. As for the commentators! Talk about Bresnan and they must mention Anderson or Swann or Tremlett. Ponting struggles for 100 minutes and 73 balls for 20 looking as if he faces the rack if he fails; and inevitably falls, bowled by a Bresnan creeper. Instead he faces the captain's farewell, a final media gathering to shed a few tears a la Vaughan, and a rich man's retirement to the TV gantry. Sad because he was a truly great batsman and we saw glimpses of that today.

Monday 27 December 2010

Hopeless

SECOND DAY

To lunch(226-2) Siddle, quiet since the first Test, bowls with purpose and aggression so that Cook is caught at first slip 18 short of a century that looked automatic and Strauss taken in the gully when a bouncer rises acutely. Trott begins the innings the selectors sent him to get in Oz, holding the side together even when Pietersen, Collingwood and Bell go for 24 runs.

To tea (304-5) Now is the period of mayhem. Ponting, understandly stressed, argues with Aleem Dar, as good an umpire as it is possible to be, and then Tony Hill, when a decision on Pietersen goes against Australia and Prior is recalled by Aleem Dar who checks a no-ball. Later Ponting is fined 40% of his match fee.

To close (444-5) Trott completes his century in just short of five hours and, I imagine, Geoff Miller and his pals decide it is right to treat themselves to another glass of celebration champagne. Prior rides his luck for two and a half hours to fifty, but once again he has shown that with his Bruce French improved wicket-keeping and his robust batting he is the ideal No.7. The lead is 346; for Australians to talk about making England bat again is proof that noxious weeds are still in abundent supply Down Under.

Those of you who have asked about the Lotto Five will be glad to know they say they are thriving. However Kate texts that "we can always get home even if the money runs out - I think we still all have our return tickets." I do hope so.

Sunday 26 December 2010

Bliss

FOURTH TEST

At the toss Ponting was so self-assired, so jokey, that he seemed not to have a care in the world and I wondered if he had told the selectors he would retire at the end of the series. We'll see.

To lunch (Australia 58-4): After three overs, two dropped catches and a missed run-out opportunity it looked as if England were going to mess up but Watson skied a rising ball to slip, Ponting batted 51 minutes for ten and Hughes was as out of his depth as ever. The key wicket was Hussey caught behind for eight, He has been their run provider throughout the series and long before tea England has the game in a vice-like grip.

To tea (Australia 98): The infinite weakness of the Australian middle and lower middle order was exposed on a pitch with tiny amounts of devil; if Smith is a Test No.6 so am I, Haddin attacked, Johnson survived four balls and the Prior-Anderson combo was too much for Clarke, inappropriately out of form at the same time as Ponting.

To close (England 157-0): In 47 overs, Cook and Strauss barely played a false shot, Cook survived one lbw verdict and the runs came so easily that as he headed off back to his hotel room Strauss must have thought he had had the perfect day. He had won the toss, put the other side in, dismissed them for their lowest score at the MCG and - don't count your horses the way I did at Perth - kept the Ashes. Bliss.

At the end Anderson, the often sour interviewee, was so relaxed I full expected him to tell us a joke or sing a song. He managed to interject "there's a lot of hard work to be done" but hey surely we cannot avoid this victory.

Saturday 18 December 2010

Do the maths

FOURTH DAY

To lunch: If the 50 minutes Australia needed to bowl England to defeat were wretched, the next 50 minutes were equally miserable. England were all out 123 to an assortment of loose shots and then commentators and cricketers alike seemed to be far too keen to submit to Australia. For instance, I listened to the whole of the summary section of Test Match Special and not once was the size of the victory in Adelaide mentioned. Jim Maxwell, as Aussie as any wallaby, was allowed to dictate the terms of the discussion; how many changes do England need to make, is there any way Australia can be stopped now, isn't it great that Johnson is back in top form, Ponting will not allow his broken little finger to keep him out of the Melbourne Boxing Day Test. Ponting was exceptionally relaxed, jokey even; Strauss was his usual conservative company man. I just wished someone - Broad tried but his voice does not carry the authority yet - had said: "Hang one. Didn't we win by a massive margin against the same team two weeks ago?"

Jo King, Stats Queen says: Brisbane 517-1 declared, Adelaide 620-5 declared or 1137-6 declared; contrast with Perth 187 and 123 or 320 for 20. Is that a one-off because of the pitch or what? The worry is not in the stats but in the sombre expressions on the faces of Flower and Strauss.

Absent Swann

THIRD DAY

So what went wrong? Same old, same old, I'm afraid. Australia had straight bats and even straighter bowling and so far Johnson has eight in the match.

To lunch at 211-4: For 55 minutes the pacemen held Watson and Hussey but the runs began to flow even after Watson - reluctantly - went for 95. Smith, who is no more a Test No.6 than, all those years ago, Steve Waugh was a No.5 in his early Tests, was allowed to make 36. Why, oh why, didn't Swann bowl more?

To tea at 297-8. Hussey played superbly for his century but the rest hardly made a contribution. The writing is on the wall for all the brave talk of 400, the biggest score of the match, in the fourth innings.

To close at 81-5. My old saying - "if they win this one you will never forget it" applies. Johnson has regained all his old devastating form, England have lost all the power that gave them such a big victory in Adelaide. I am apt to blame Strauss for everything but he has to answer for Swann bowling only nine overs in the innings and for the failure to remove Smith at speed.

Friday 17 December 2010

Why it all went wrong

SECOND DAY.

The old vet loses control and actually phones, which must be a sign that the Lotto money has gone to his head. "Did you ever see such batting?" he asks. He is very angry. "Prior has not got a shot, keeps moving across his wicket and allowing himself to be hit. At least Swann knows how to play but by that time Johnson is so much in the groove Bradman could not stop him. It is the worst England batting I have seen for years."

To lunch. Everything goes swimmingly to 78 until Johnson suddenly produces a spell of four wickets - Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Collingwood - that makes my predictions of an easy England win are doomed. Lunch at 119-5.

To tea England all out 187, an Australian devil score, after Johnson also disturbs the tail with a soft, old ball and finishes with 6-38. All right, half his wickets are gifts but as he hardly got the ball past the bat in the first Test and is dropped for the second, it's a great performance.

To close Finn struck twice and now has the second best Test strike rate in history. Hughes is hardly more than a gimme but when Prior caught Ponting down the legside he waited for a referral before marching off in a fury. How much longer will the selectors tolerate his lack of runs? He could be finished if his men lose this match and the Ashes fly home to Lord's again. By the end of the second day Australia are sure to win. Just like England yesterday so don't cry just yet.

Jo King, Queen of the Important Stat, says: Finn has 45 wickets in his 11 Tests, at 25.73 with a strike rate of 39.32 compared with old-timer Lohman who had 112 wickets in 34 balls each. Not all his victims turned out to be Test stars. Five more wickets and Finn will have beaten Botham's record of 50 wickets at 22 years and 261 days. Finn will not be 22 until April 4.

Thursday 16 December 2010

Falling behind

THIRD TEST

To lunch: The pitch was so green we might have been in Cork or Donegal and when Strauss won the toss he made sure Ponting knew the Aussies would bat. Watson was wrongly given out in the first over - but reprieved - Tremlett bowled Hughes, Ponting was caught acrobatically by Collingwood at slip, Clarke played a surrender shot to Prior, Watson was lbw and Smith caught at slip. If you never saw a team demoralised before you did today. By lunch they were 65-4 and when Hussey - pretending he had not hit the ball - was shown to be caught by Prior they were 137-6

To tea: The Aussies fought, of course. Haddin, strangely held back until to No.7, hit 53 and Johnson, looking so tense you could almost read his thoughts, top-scored with 62 while Siddle and Hilfenhaus put on 35 off 23 balls before Strauss remembered Swann was his best bowler. At tea 179-6 and you could say Australia should have been out for 210 or so but without a leader in any sense and with the top six in turmoil it is only a matter of time before England confirm their superiority. As against Australia A, Tremlett bowled beautifully and proved to be the right pick for all Bresnan's claims.

To close: Strauss who had a mixed day as captain and Cook knocked off 29 and now it appears to be plain sailing although Strauss must not forget Swann in the second innings when his flight and dip, backed by whatever turn he can find still hold the key. Sometimes I wish I was there.

The veteran texts: "To think I was worried there might be an Aussie revival. Perhaps I am getting past it. I can't keep up with the young 'uns!" It seems to me that there may be a tale to be told in that last sentence. Kate also texts: "The old boy is falling behind."

Lets give Jo King, the undoubted Queen of Stats, the last word. "Some people," she says with a raised eyebrow, "are suggesting England might win this game after their victory in the second Test. It would be the first time England have beaten Australia in successive Tests since the Edgbaston and Oval matches of 1985."

Tuesday 7 December 2010

Clear cut catastrophe

FIFTH DAY

It was all done and dusted by lunch on Hussey had hoisted the surrender flag with a high lob which no place in this match nor at Wimbledon. Swann in his present mood cannot tolerate tail-enders as bad as the last three Aussie batsman and they cannot fathom him. The result was that England won by an innings and 71 runs just before lunch.

I cannot remember a more comprehensive victory by England against anyone away from home. I guess that Brearley's side had one and certainly Hutton's side - stoked by the fire that came from Tyson - but those I have seen in the last 25 years were snatched in tight games that might have gone either way.

Now for the series. Lets hope for 3-0. The Aussie commentators so remind me of the way Willis and Co used to rattle on in the 1990s which brought players unfit to tread the boards into the side only to be rejected as if somehow it was their fault.

Jo King, stats Qeen, says: It is England's first innings victory in Australia for almost a quarter of a century. Mike Gatting's side won in Melbourne by an innings and 14 runs and only 11 other England sides have won by innings.

Monday 6 December 2010

Last minute luck

FOURTH DAY

To lunch: Strauss battted on for half an hour, KP reached 227, his highest Test score, and Prior, with 27 off 21 balls, played just the right innings. Australia, at their positive best too. set off as if they were chasing down a T/20 score until Swann put the brakes on: 78-0 was a good start. Kate. apparently alive again after several days of silence, texted: "These bastards are going to win! but I think not.

To tea: Katich, who has an ankle problem, got out four runs into the afternoon and after scratching around for 19 balls, Ponting was anapped up by Collingwood in the slips and Watson caught off Finn. Two successes for Swann and all's right with the world but Clarke bustled in like a general on his first grand parade, and Hussey was at his most obdurate so that tea came at 160 for three.

To close: Bad light stopped play for an hour and it looked as if England might be a wicket or two short at the end but off the last ball - bowled by K "I'm an all-rounder"P - Clarke was caught after some nonsence with "whose referral is it anyway" Australia finished on 238-4 and even Boycott thought England would win "comfortably".They get their luck when they need it, like Australia used to and Manchester United always have.

Jo King, turns Memory Girl: In 1992-3 on the ground fmmed for high scoring, Australia needed just 186 to beat West Indies - and lost by one run. To this day Craig McDermott swears the ball that go him caught behind hit his chest. The umpire was Darrell Hair. An Aussie. Well, it happened in those days but not any more and I'm throwing my vote behind Boycs abd Ted who are both English and say they are, naturally, backing the Strauss lads.

Sunday 5 December 2010

KP at the double

THIRD DAY

To Lunch: Trott's value was shown by the total when he was out - 176-3. He is far from the most dynamic batsman in history but he takes those runs on offer and if he is batting with KP the rate stays high. All that was needed now KP had shown he was at his best were workmanlike innings as provided by Trott and Collingwood. At lunch England were 449-3 and the wise men of Australian cricket close to admitting their bowling had no answers.

To tea: Collingwood missed a straight ball but he had done his work and KP, driving through the onside and down the vee, or simply hitting, rubbed in the lessons of England's chances of beating a weak side. It began to rain as KP reached his double hundred and they did not return after tea at 551-4, 306 ahead and whatever the weather able to ocntrol the rest of the match. Although we must remember what happened four years ago even if there are no giants of Warne's stature in this Ausralian side.

Jo King, Queen stat, says: KP needs n handful of runs to beat his personal best of 226 against West Indies at Headingle but my guess is that Strauss will take one look at the overhead cloud and go flat out for the win. If he can squeeze a minute or two for KP he will reap the benefit later in the series because to KP confidence is like a drug and a new PB will undoubtedly encourage him to score even more runs.

Saturday 4 December 2010

Cook can't stop

SECOND DAY

To lunch: Third ball and Strauss is out allowing a ball to go past, except it didn't. Never mind, by lunch Cook and Trott have taken to score to 90-1 in perfect safety. What is wrong with Strauss? Too much on his mind is my guess.

To tea: Trott reaches 78 without trouble before carelessly hitting a catch to Clarke at mid-wicket. He has already proved his worth for all there are many who resent his selection. When the first two Aussie wickets fell on day one Clarke was still in the nets, we hear. This sort of lack of discipline can be seen all the way through his team. England have concentration, discipline and application in bucketloads. It is the main difference between the two sides and Cook us there to demonstrate its value with 90 at tea while KP already looks set for a steady innings.

To close: So it turns out. Cook trots beyond 400 for the series, KP just like the big, rangy, I'm here to make mincemeat of anyone who tries to bowl, star batsman of two years ago. He's 85 and Cook, showing off in front of his parents, is 136 and no doubt seeing another double in his mind's eye.

Jo King, stats Queen, says: Stamina or runs Alistair Cook is surely man of the series already. He has been on the pitch for all but 11 overs and he cannot stop scoring runs and building partnerships. To think there were plenty of people who did not want him to play.

Friday 3 December 2010

Losing the plot

SECOND TEST

To lunch: In a blink of an eye Katich, Ponting and Clarke were all gone for two runs, and you do not fight back from those blows easily.

To tea: Inevitably an Australian improvement but with only Finn below par and the last three Australian batsmen indisputably tail-enders there was always going to be a small total.

To close: Ponting is always defeated when he loses his temper and tonight he left the field shouting at Strauss. Last time, remember, it was Duncan Fletcher who caught his wrath. That outburst as the two sides left the field may be the clearest sign that there are big problems in the Australian dressing room, in particular for Ponting. Besides it has come to my notice that Mitchell Johnson, out of form fast bowler, shouted at Greg Chappell, the new supremo among the Australia selectors, after being dropped. Doesn't Johnson realise that his Brisbane bowling was so below par that he had become an enbarrassment. He was simply not performing at first-class level; he had to go.

Jo King, Stats Queen, says: It is 13 years since a side was bowled out on the first day at Adelaide where we remember Mohammad Azhurrudin, Mark Waugh and Paul Collingwood filling the air with gorgeous strokes and filling their boots at the same time.In 1997 it was West Indies, another side on their way down, who made 130 in 47.5 overs.