Cafe talk

"Two coffees, one with, one without, one black tea, no sugar."

Young player: "Can I get a tea latte, please."

The veteran and I try to ignore him.

"What about Freddie, then," says the vet.

"Should never have gone. Whoever is supposed to be in charge at ECB should have put his foot down with a firm hand. Ashes more important, you don't need the money, take a rest," I give it.

"Four overs a match is a rest. He's still a great bowler, but his batting's gone. No timing, no power, no confidence," says the wise one. "He's getting on too. 31, it's no age to keep getting injured and the papers say it's a injury that is deteriorating. Not good news. But lets wait and see."

"He's all right is Freddie," says the kid.

There's a fan behind us. "I reckon ECB knew he'd gone in the knee and thought 'you might as well go to South Africa because you're not going to play in the Ashes anyway.'"

"They wouldn't do that," says the vet. "Lets wait and see."

"Freddie'll be all right, hopefully," says the kid.

The waitress brings the drinks. "Which is the tea latte," the wet child asks.

"The black wi no sugar," she says. "By the way I saw you batting yesterday's. Keep still, you'll never make runs dancing round like a tart in a nightclub."

"That's not very nice," says the lad, blushing. "I'm just trying to express myself."

"As for the rest of you, leave poor Freddie alone. He should 'ave gone, earn a few more bobs, kids to bring up, not long left, credit crunch."

"You just don't understand cricket," we say in chorus.