Handy Andy, England coach

We meet in a coffee shop just up from the ground: JB a pro for 30 years, AA a lad on the fringe of the county side and me, part time rough village cricketer 50 years ago.

"Flower?" asks JB. "Why Flower?"

AA: "Players like him. Freddie told me. Got to respect his achievements. Top of world batting for Zimbabwe. It's Hadlee collecting wickets like postage stamps for New Zealand. Defied Robert Mugabe too. Big gesture, brave man."

Me: "Henry Olonga defied Mugabe too. Where is he nowadays?"

JB: "Rather, where is the Flower coaching experience? Did the Board need to get head hunters to find one of their own? As for players approving, I'm not sure that's good. They might think he's a soft touch."

AA: "KP says he's tough. Doesn't say much but one glance tells you to put your box on straight."

Me: "Can he push them hard enough to win back the Ashes? Brains is not sure to get enough runs, Matt Prior catches one and misses two, Harmy is up one minute and as soon as Newcastle lose a Premier League match he is right down again and as for Panesar . . ."

JB: "AA, you faced Monty last summer?"

AA: "Yeah, couple of times. Good, regular left armer, no indipper no dozra that I saw, runs in quicker for his faster ball. I don't know if you noticed but I'm neither KP nor Vaughany and I didn't have a worry. Really I had more trouble with Flower's brother, every ball a new life."

Me: "Perhaps Andy will get the brother to coach Monty. That would be a novelty. No, they've got Mushtaq, another liquorice all sorts."

JB: "They want somebody out of the old days. Illingworth, Underwood, Titmus, Pocock. They knew all the tricks. I don't suppose Flower will see much in them."

AA: "Finish your coffee and lets get on the first tee. As for Flower we'll have to wait and see."

Me: "Congratulations AA. You have won an extra cube of sugar for using the cliche of the year for the millioneth time."

AA and JB in chorus: "You just don't understand this game, do you?"