Cheating!

The cafe.

"Cheating, cheating, cheating Pommie bastards!" says Greg as he forgets himself sufficiently to pay for all the drinks as well as winking at the waitress.

"Funnily enough," says the old player, "I agree with the sentiments even though I wish to express them more politely. That business with the gloves and that, shall we say, unfit looking physio, made me very uncomfortable. Ponting was right. Not within the laws or the spirit of the game. So yes, cheating, gamesmanship, call it what you will."

He takes a sip of the young lad's tea latte. "That is disgusting," he says.

"So were England's ideas of time wasting," I say. "The good thing is that Ponting cannot present a case. His wee face screws up and as he tries to be what he imagines is diplomatic he loses his audience. I also hope someone slaps a few wrists over that business. It was not just cheating, it was unnecessary and it spoiled a wonderful fight."

"I'm cheering the tail-enders," says the waitress. "Saved us from an innings defeat. But what will the selectors do? Drop Panesar, one of the heroes, maybe? Shunt off Broad, another batting hero? There is a case for an unchanged side as there was in 2005 after the heavy defeat at Lord's."

"Selectors earn their money today," says the old fella. "Are they brave enough for the task? We'll see. You're very quiet," he says to the youngster.

"I know," says the lad. "You drank my tea latte which I rely on for building up my inner strength. I'm gutted." He looks close to tears.

"Cheats, all of you," goes Greg. "Cheats never prosper. Ashes stay with Australia. I'm just disappointed your lot cheat."

The rest of us cannot resist the temptation and place a five each on the table. "Make yourself a fortune," says the old guy. "Our nice waitress lady can hold the stake."

"Not bloody likely," says the waitress, "I want my share. You lot know nothing. I'm backing the Aussies."

* Oh, no. Freddie is injured again. That's the news as Steve Harmison is recalled to take over the Flintoff bowling role in less than 72 hours. Back-to-back Tests are partially responsible for these injuries. Now it is down to the team management to fulfil their part of the bargain by finding a solution to the wear and tear now being suffered by all the players. Whether it will be in time to save Flintoff's career is the big question.