Bring back Strauss

The cafe. The old 'un has his golf clubs so we know he wont stay long. The kid says: "Two teas and a tea latte" at which the waitress smiles sweetly and nods.

"I have important holes of golf to play," says the veteran. "Captain's Day. That's me. Who's going to win this Twenty-20."

The tea is hardly on the table when he has swollowed half the cupful. "You first," he says to me.

"South Africa," I say. "I have seen them on the telly twice, they are cheerful, confident and they have Gibbs, Smith, Kallis and de Villiers to make runs, Stein is about the quickest in the world and I would not mind Morkel in any side I played in. And they are proven winners."

The apprentice hand cannot wait. "England," he says, "except I wish they had Strauss because he is a good captain. I know! When we play Middlesex last year, you know what, he says to me 'Hey young man, I am moving square leg, all right?' I say: 'All right, skipper, and you want me to give him a catch first up!' He just grins that silly grin of his and says nothing. But, and I know you wont believe this, first ball I give it a tip round the corner and that bloody square leg has gone to the 45 and catches me easy as anything."

"Proving," says the waitress, "that you still don't know your leg glance from your tea latte."

"I like India," says the old 'un, picking up his golf bag. "Lots of quality, they have Sehwag who is a thrill a minute, they have Harbajan Whatsit for a bit of nastiness and that MS Dhoni can hit from no foot movement like only a few I've seen."

"Strauss would hold the innings together," says the kid. "More than can be said for you," the waitress goes as she retreats into the kitchen.

"She's got no room to talk," the lad says. "She makes the worst tea latte I've ever drunk."