I swear - he's vanished!

Ted, not Greg:

I guess it's not a dreadful shock but Greg has gone walkabout. Disgusted with (a) the order from the Australian management that there must be no sledging on this tour. (b) Mortified by the standard of their cricket yesterday. (c) Depressed that no Aussie tennis player is mowing aside everybody inWimbledon. (d) Cold in our hottest spell of the summer.

I leave you to guess but his mobile is off, no calls, no texts, no email. Off into the Outback; or off back to Leicester. Or cutting a swathe through the Sheilas of Brighton where, to judge from a call I had on Wednesday his accent, his rough humour and the Aussie flag on the seat of his pants had gone down a treat. So he said.

In his absence I can report that Hughes and Katchich put on 93, the Aussies are 136-1 at lunch with Hughes 66. At least Hove is a quiet place where the Aussies can stick to their non-sledging policy. Me, I will believe it - but not before the tour ends.

By tea Australia are 300 in front thanks to 70-plus scores from Ponting and Hughes but where is the mastery, where are the signs of a Test series win; and the only spin coming from the Aussie camp seems to shrug off the need for anyone to turn the ball.

No spin, no sledging, no hope. No wonder Greg goes - probably in search of hope.

By the close it looks as if Australia will win easily on day four: 400 ahead, Michael Clarke on course for a century and signs of wear in the pitch. Greg thinks so too. He texts: "Back 2morrow" Will explain."

The explanation had better be good.