Carla calling!

Greg back guys and girls

This is going to be fairly brief. Australia draw with Sussex, the only century of the match comes from Carl Hopkinson as Sussex try to chase down the target and nearly succeed. The exciting news is that Nathan Hauritz gets a wicket which gives him 1-150 plus in the match but all in all it is not a great match for the side aiming to retain the Ashes. (Yes, we did win themback even you guys only seem to remember the 2005 result.)

As for the medical bulletin, thanks for asking, I am getting better. You see - and this sometimes happens to young men abroad, on their own and learning the ways of the world - on Thursday night I get lucky and it is not until this very pretty lady and I get up close and as personal as you can with only a short introduction that I discover that she is a man. Don't ask any rude questions. Just take my word for it that I am so deeply shocked that I run into the street and meet a player and blurt out the whole story and of course it goes round the change rooms like a bush fire. Now they chant "Did you hear how 'Greg Orry turned Greg Gay' every time I walk anywhere near. All this is highly embarrassing for a red-blood Aussie guy and I tell them 'You guys got to win back the Ashes to make me forget this dreadful incident.' They go 'No worries mate, she'll be apples' and then laugh hysterically." The worst of all is that the "lady" calls herself Carla!

Ted here

No harm, Greg. Just give us the benefit of your insights into the rest of the tour. You might get a few laughs from the England trials. Chin up, cobber, she'll (or do I mean he'll) be right!